Tests! But we haven't studied!
by Lashana Inferno
Summary: Well, Lashana & Telca almost got a day off. Too bad Q had to ruin it by kidnapping them and putting them through numerous insane tests to see if they're 'worthy' of being Avatars. Add to that a bunch of psychotic males, and there's insanity all around!
1. We were 'this close' to having a day off

**Yay. Another fic. Man, I have so many of these going that I'll never be bored again! As usual, we (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief (Telca's Cat) and Kalamadea (Lashana's Dragon). Oh, and Tvashtar is mentioned somewhere in here. He's Lashana's Original Creation... so no touching of him. Everyone else belongs to whoever created them in the first place (there's too many for me to list). Enjoy the ficcie and R&R please. ^_^**   
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**Tests?! But we haven't studied yet!!******

**Full Summary: Well, Lashana & Telca almost got a day off. Too bad Q had to ruin it by kidnapping them and putting them through numerous insane tests to see if they're 'worthy' of being Avatars. What's worse is that they're stuck with the most psychotic batch of males possible : Joyrock, Venom, Skie and Inuyasha. Can things possibly get _any_ worse?**   
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**We were _this close_ to having a day off.....**   
  
  
  


"Ahhhh! This, is the life!" Grinning widely, Lashana Inferno closed her eyes and stretched, relaxing afterwards as she lay back on the lawn chair and merely listened to the sound of the wind playing with the leaves of the trees. It had been _weeks_ since she had managed to get some time to herself. Between the Harem, Tvashtar's constant nagging that she should be training, the various Challengers that had come her way and guests that just seemed to drop in, things had been rather hectic lately. 

But today, today was _her_ day. She had made that quite clear to the Harem. Even Xellos had agreed to leave her alone today - which was a miracle all in itself. A chuckle escaped her as she rose her arms to lace her fingers behind her head, opening her eyes to blink up at the sky from behind her sunglasses, remembering the expressions on some of the Guys faces when she had exclaimed that they'd leave her alone today or have to cater to Xellos every whim for a week. She made it quite clear that she did mean his _every_ whim. 

So here she was, sprawled out on a lawn chair like some contented cat, clothed in only a conservative two-piece bathing suit and sunning herself while a glass of iced tea sat next to her chair. _This is lovely. If every day was like this I'd swear I'd died and gone to Heaven..._

"You look way too comfortable." 

Lashana smirked and turned her head to look at Telca as her friend lay a towel onto the second lawn chair then lay down on it. "Come to bask in the wonderousness of not being constantly pestered?" 

"Hmm. Considering that the entire Harem is afraid of you right now, I figured the best place to relax would be where ever you were," Telca said as she adjusted the straps on her her black two-piece swim suit, looking over at the Elf when she was finished. "Is there such a word as 'wonderousness'?" 

"If there wasn't before, there is now." 

"Point." Smiling, the Avatar of Gaia lay back and closed her eyes, feeling her tension just melt away as she basked, letting the sun warm her. "This is nice." 

"Very nice." 

"Almost too nice." 

"Why?" 

"Because it means that something's gonna happen to muck it up." 

"Not unless it wants to get Giga Slaved," Lashana muttered sourly, fangs bared in a silent snarl. "This is the first time we're gotten to relax in over a month. We deserve it." 

"Very true. Death to all who endanger our relaxing day?" 

"Hai." 

"Excellent." 

Lashana felt a shiver travel down her spine. "If you imitate Mr. Burns from the Simpsons again, I'm going to have to hurt you." 

Snickering, Telca pulled her sunglasses out of a portal and slipped them on. "Funsucker." 

_I'm curious. When you say that, exactly what part do you consider 'fun'?_

"What the hell?!" Lashana bolted upright and looked around, pushing her sunglasses up onto the top of her head as she tried to find the source of the voice. _That's not one of our guys... but why does it sound familiar?_

Growling under her breath, Telca got to her feet and planted her fists on her hips. "Who are you? And what the hell do you want?" 

_Me? I think the little Avatar of L-Sama's close to figuring it out, aren't you?_

Eyes narrowed, the Elf stood and folded her arms over her chest. "Q. What are you doing here you baka? Shouldn't you be off annoying Picard or something?" 

Telca blinked turned her gaze towards the brief flash of light behind them, frowning when she saw a male stretched out on her chair dressed in a pair of swimming trunks and drinking a margarita. "Ugh. It's _you_. Now I'm going to have to burn that towel." 

"Aw, you wound me, my dear. After all, I merely came to spend time with the two newest Avatars. The two most important ones in the Universe. Doesn't that count for anything?" 

"No." Lashana grimaced and snatched her drink. "I'll be inside." 

"Oh, I think you might want to stay around," Q smiled as he appeared directly in front of her. "After all, this concerns you as well." 

"Well take a memo. I. Don't. Care." 

"Oh, you but you should. After all, you can't pass the tests if you don't care." 

"Tests?" Telca frowned. "What tests?" 

"The ones I'm going to put you through of course!" With a snap of his fingers, he was beside Telca, wearing his trademarked Federation uniform. "You see, you two aren't quite living up to the standards. You're Avatars, you're supposed to look down upon the little people, not live with them. I mean really, what are your Gods thinking, letting you live with those... things." 

"Watch your mouth," Lashana snarled, her aura flaring up slightly. "That's our family you're talkin' about." 

"Oh, yes, your _family._ Honestly, what ever happened to Avatars who lived like hermits and only ventured out to wreck havoc and vengeance?" 

"They grew a brain?" 

Q frowned and looked at Lashana, receiving a nasty glare in return. "You're not being very hospitable. Well, not that that's surprising. You mortals always seem to have trouble treating your betters with respect." 

"Our betters? Our _betters?!_ You are _not_ our better," Telca growled as she stalked forward until she was right in Q's face. "L-Sama and Gaia, _they_ are our betters, and even then, at least they don't have egos the size of Jupiter! You're a pest, Q. A pest, pure and simple. You ran out of original ideas a long time ago, and then started tormenting other people just so you could get your kicks. Well guess what, baka? Lashana and aren't taking any part in this retarded charade of yours! Now, _go away!_" 

Chuckling slightly, Lashana put her sunglasses back on and followed a fuming Telca back to the Palace. "Arigato, Q no Baka." 

"Hmpft." Q scowled at the retreating Avatars and folded his arms over his chest. "They've obviously been spending too much time with Gaia and L-Sama, they're starting to sound just like them." 

~*~ 

"A perfectly good relaxing morning, and that freak had to ruin it!" Telca ranted as she stomped around the kitchen while fixing herself a sandwich. "'Our better'. Ha! If he doesn't have a case of testosterone poisoning, then Xellos is a gentleman!" 

Lashana rolled her eyes as she listened to her friend vent and idly munched on some barbeque chips. They had both changed into their more usual outfits before coming here, and she was glad of the comfort that her favourite faded blue jeans, navy blue sportsbra and light blue tank top that read 'don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies'. Telca had done the same, having changed into black jeans and a grey t-shirt that read 'don't start with me, you will not win'. 

Truthfully, she was slightly curious as to why Q had suddenly taken such an interest in them. After all, the most attention they had gotten after becoming Avatars were the Challengers, and none of them had been anything close to an actual challenge... 

::Elfy?:: 

_Heyla, Kalamadea._ Smiling, she turned and rose her right arm, letting the small peacock-hued dragon land on her elbow. "Where've you been all morning, hmm?" 

"You'd better not have been tormenting my cat again," Telca warned, shaking a mustard covered knife at the dragon. "Else I'll have to glue you to Xellos." 

::I fear you not, Battleaxe.:: 

Telca frowned and looked at Lashana, who shrugged. 

"It's not _my_ fault they've been picking things up from the Guys," she protested, hearing Kalamdea's soft snicker in her thoughts as he climbed up her arm until he was perched on her shoulder. 

"Hmpft." Not completely believing the Elf, Telca turned back to making her sandwich, reaching for the package of roasted turkey meat and blinking when she touched a furry body instead. "Mischief!" Her anger at Q fading, she grinned and swept her cat into her arms, hugging her gently and feeling herself relax when Mischief started purring. "Kitty want some food, hmm?" 

_Ugh. That's enough to make me want to hurl,_ Lashana thought to Kalamadea as Telca gushed over her cat, hearing her dragon's answering grumble. _So, what's up? Everything okay?_

::You worry too much,:: he told her as he extended his right wing and rose his hind leg to scratch at a spot near his shoulder. ::Besides, you'd know if something was wrong.:: 

_True. But I still like to ask._

He chuckled in her mind and moved to curl himself around the back of her neck, his tail winding around her throat like a iridescent necklace as he hid himself in her hair. ::Hmm. Something's bothering you though.:: 

_Nothing major, littling. Just some wacko that showed up while Telca and I were trying to relax._ She reached out and plucked another chip from the bowl, quirking an eyebrow when she saw that Mischief had copied Kalamadea and was curled around Telca's shoulders, much to the burgundy haired Avatar's delight. _I just wanted one day to relax. Why is that so hard?_

::Because fate enjoys being sadistic?:: 

_You're not helping._

Crooning, he rose his head and rubbed his cheek against hers. ::Sorry. You asked.:: 

_I know._

"This is disgusting." 

Startled, both Avatar's spun and glared at Q as he appeared at the island counter, sitting next to Lashana, who yelped and leapt away. 

"You're _Avatars!_ What are you doing with those.... those...." 

"If anything derogatory comes out of your mouth, I will personally make your visit here a painful one," Telca snarled, her eyes turning amber as Mischief hissed from her shoulder. 

Q rolled his eyes. "You're Avatars, not Gods." 

"Maybe. But if I let the Chaos take over, I'm pretty sure that you'd have trouble dealing with a Mazoku Highlord," Lashana growled, hearing Kalamadea echo her growl with one of his own. 

"True. But you'd have to catch me first," he smirked, eliciting angry glares from them in response. "Now really, ladies, that's not very becoming. Now come along, time's wasting!" 

There was a flash of light, and Lashana was forced to blink numerous times before her vision recovered, treating her to a sight that she wouldn't soon forget. She and Telca were standing in the middle of what seemed to be a desert, only things were... warped. The sand was a dark purple, the sky was light pastel green and the sun - at least that's what she thought it was - was a bright red. 

Telca took in the view at the same time the Elf did, then rounded on Q. "Send us back!" 

"No can do, my dear Avatar. You see, the Continuum is getting slightly... disturbed, by your seeming lack of knowledge on how to act like true Avatars. Truthfully, having you two as Avatars of Life and Chaos has thrown a monkey wrench into the workings of the Universe. So I'm here to test you, to see if you're really worthy of being Avatars." 

"Does L-Sama know about this?" Lashana frowned, feeling Kalamadea's reassuring weight still present on her shoulders as the dragon hid himself in her hair. "Or Gaia?" 

"Sadly, no. I seem to have forgotten to tell them," Q smiled, turning serious mere seconds later. "Here are the rules. First, no transforming. Second, the two of you combined are only allowed to weave fifteen spells a day. Use them up and you have to wait for the next day to come around. Third, the more tests you manage to pass, the more points you gain and the more chances you have that I'll become impressed and let you have a little help." 

"_WHAT?!_ You _bastard!_ Are you out of your mind?!" Telca raised a fist and readied herself to punch Q square in the face, screaming in rage when he merely vanished. "_Bastard!!!_" 

_Now now, Milady, don't get all riled up. It's quite simple. You pass my tests to my satisfaction, and I'll send you home._

Lashana bared her fangs in a snarl as Q's voice echoed around him. "And if we refuse?" 

_Then you forfeit the game and you die.... and so does your precious 'family'._

The two Avatar's exchanged panicked looks, then frowned. 

"Alright," Telca spat. "What do we do first?" 

_Survive._

Still frowning, Lashana turned in a circle to survey where they were and sighed. "Middle of a desert, no water, no transportation, no shade. Ugh. Survive indeed. Telca? Er.... Telca?" 

The Avatar twitched, her hands fisted at her sides. "That.... that..... Godsbedamned retarded bastard of a--" 

Lashana smirked as Telca continued, her terminology growing more inventive and insulting as she went. She only interrupted to add a few colourful ideas whenever her friend seemed to hit a verbal block, listening with total agreement as Telca started up again. 

Kalamadea, used to these outbursts, slowly peeked out from the shelter of the Elf's hair and nudged her cheek. ::Where are we?:: His question seemed to remind the Avatars that there were more pressing matters than their rage filled screaming, and he blinked as Telca fell silent. ::Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt the rantfest.:: 

Telca frowned and reached up to bury her fingers in Mischief's fur, taking comfort in the fact that her beloved cat was still with her and alright as she looked around them, seemingly taking in the landscape for the first time. "I...have no idea." 

"Well, we can't stay here," Lashana murmured, shielding her eyes with a hand as she looked up at the sky. "Funky landscape notwithstanding, this is still a desert, we'll die of heat if we stay here." 

"Where else is there?" 

Curious, the dragon uncurled his tail from around Lashana's throat and climbed up until he was sitting on the top of her head, staring at the horizon for a moment before pointing to something in the distance with a claw. ::There's trees.:: 

"A forest? Well, that'll have to do," Telca sighed, exchanging glances with Lashana before leading the way. "Shall we curse at the bakayaro while we walk?" 

"Yes," Lashana smiled as Kalamadea returned to her shoulders, hiding in under her hair again, "lets."   
  
  
  



	2. THIS is the best we could get!

**As usual, we (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief (Telca's Cat) and Kalamadea (Lashana's Dragon).Everyone else belongs to whoever created them in the first place (there's too many for me to list). Enjoy the ficcie and R&R please. ^_^**   


**_THIS_ is the best we could get?!**   
  
  


Kalamadea sighed as he shifted his position on Lashana's shoulders, resting his chin on his claws as he listened to the two Avatars go through a very imaginative alphabet concerning their opinion of Q. He was fairly certain that most, if not all, of the terms they were using would get him into very serious trouble if he ever repeated them, granted that didn't stop him from filing away a few descriptive words for future reference. 

"Ugh..." Lashana rose a hand to brush her bangs out of her eyes and prayed for a cool breeze. Or a blizzard. Something. Anything. They had been walking for almost two hours, and she was certain that she was going to drop dead before she even got near the forest. "Okay, what are we at?" 

Telca grimaced and swiped sweat off her brow, grimacing at the oppressive heat. "'S' I think." 

"Easy. He's a shithead." 

"And a tightass." 

"Let's not forget ugger." 

"What the hell is an 'ugger'?" 

"It's a slur. Usually to people who are ugly and hairy. Like Laverne." 

"Ah. Okay. Then he's also a V.U.P. Very unimportant person." 

"Hai." Lashana chuckled, then yelped when she slipped, twisting to dig her fingers into the sand to stop her fall before she slid down the side of the dune they were walking on. Once she was back onto whatever passed as stable ground, she brushed her hands onto her jeans to rid them of sand, then hurriedly ran after Telca. "So, W... um... Wanker? Oh wait! Whore!" 

Telca smirked. "Oh sure. Leave me the hard one. What the hell can we use for 'X'?" 

"Xenophobe?" 

"X-Rated? Let's just skip 'X'. Lesse...... Yawper!" 

"What's a 'yawper?" 

"Someone who talks loudly and stupidly." 

"Ah. Zit. Unimaginative, I know, but I think I'm going to pass out from heat stroke soon." 

Telca glanced at the Elf warily, noting how exhausted she looked. The Gaia Avatar was betting that she probably looked the same. "You'd better not, cuz I'm not carrying you out of here. The only person I'm carrying is Mischief, and even then, she's gettin' heavy." 

"Mrrn.... Fine." Lashana reached back and tied her hair up into a ponytail with the elastic she always wore around her left wrist. "Are we closer at least?" 

::Yes. About halfway,:: Kalamadea murmured into her thoughts, raising his head to reassuringly nuzzle her cheek. ::Almost there. Want me to fly for a bit?:: 

"No. If I get used to you not being there and then have you land again I may just collapse," she sighed, wiping at her eyes wearily. "What's next?" 

"Asshole." 

"Mmm, bastard." 

"Cunt." 

"Dipshit." 

Kalamadea rolled his eyes and distracted himself with looking around. Quite frankly, he thought the landscape was beyond psychotic. Especially since the few cactus' they had seen had either been neon pink or bright yellow. _Whoever had created this place must have been on crack....granted if Q created this, then that would explain a lot...._ His attention went back to Telca and the Elf when they trailed off, thinking of an appropriate insult to go along with the letter 'I', and he smirked as he reached out to touch both Avatar's thoughts. ::Impotent.:: 

Lashana chuckled under her breath. "Good one, littling!" 

Talons grated against scales as he rubbed them against his chest, then admired them smugly. ::Thanks. I learned from the best.:: 

_You are out of order!!_

"Ack!" Telca grimaced as a bright flash of light nearly blinded her, then rubbed at her eyes until the spots faded, giving her a grand view of some sort of psychotic court room. Seated on a chair that seemed to be levitating three feet off the floor was Q. She remembered the first episode of Star Trek TNG where he had shown up for the first time. That courtroom getup he was wearing looked even more retarded up close. But she was _way_ too irritated to bother making any comments about his wardrobe. "_We're_ out of order?! Hold on a moment, bub! You're the one who yanked us from our nice little relaxing afternoon and left us in the middle of some sort of funky desert!!" 

"That's no excuse for such contempt of the courts!" 

"Don't you ever get tired of listening to yourself talk?" Lashana drawled, glad at least to be out of the sun. "You really must be insane if you think we're going to go along with this peacefully, especially if you expect us to do these stupid tests of yours when we're alone and low on magicks!" 

Q glowered at them for a moment, then gave up when all they did was calmly glare back at them. "Then you forfeit." 

"The hell we do!" Telca snarled. "You pompous bastard! The concept of playing fair just doesn't occur to you, does it?!" 

::Technically it hardly ever occurs to her either,:: Kalamadea murmured into the Elf's thoughts as he sat up straighter on her right shoulder, watching this with interest. ::Can't you just open a portal and get us out of here?:: 

_No. He's blocked almost all my magicks. My link to the Chaos is dulled and my portal magicks are completely blocked. The most I can do is fire off a Dragon Slave, but that won't work on him._ Lashana grit her teeth as her mind quickly ran through various strategies. If she had been able to transform into her Avatar form, she might have had a chance to at least get them away from Q, but without that hundred-fold boost of Power, she was just a normal Elf. And without at least one of the Harem here to help them, or at least comfort them, both she and Telca were suffering both physically and emotionally. _At least he didn't block the Bond..._

"Playing fair? Hmpft. What an odd thing to say." Q snapped his fingers, dismissing the chair and the courtroom motif, appearing in front of the two females in his usual Federation outfit as the room changed into a copy of the Enterprise's bridge. "Well, I suppose I could let you have a few helpers.... I certainly can't expect you to be at full power since I'm blocking most of that power, now can I?" 

Telca snarled. 

"One day your face is going to stay that way," he scolded her, grimacing as the feline that was clinging to her shoulders hissed at him angrily. "Well, it's easy to see where the pet got it from. Fine. You want help? Pick five." 

Lashana caught the scroll that was thrown at her and glanced at Telca in wary hope as she slowly unfurled it, looking at the names for a moment before deadpanning and raising her gaze to Q's. "You have got to be shittin' us. These are names of a bunch of psychopaths!" 

"You all ought to work out perfectly then." 

Grumbling, Telca grabbed Lashana's arm and dragged her away from Q before huddling close. "Okay, this is better than nothing, right?" 

"Speak for yourself. I know what most of these Guys are like." 

"Well... at the very least we can throw them into the line of fire so we can live another day, right?" 

"If we survive that long..." 

Telca rolled her eyes and snatched the list out of the Elf's hands, reading a few names before paling. "Maybe we were better off in the desert." 

::Can't be that bad,:: Kalamadea frowned, peering at one of the names curiously. ::Who's Vocal?:: 

"He's a character from the Violinist of Hamlin manga. Super psychotic, uncontrollable, prone to fits of major mayhem and murder," Lashana sighed, wincing when Telca shot a look at her. "Don't ask." 

"Mmhm. Well, I know who that is. You think if he came with that mask thing we'd be able to control him?" Telca asked as she tapped an overlong fingernail against Hannibal Lector's name. 

"Um... I am not putting up with the freaky hissing thing. Besides, just because he's muzzled doesn't mean he won't kill us the first chance he gets." 

"Point. Okay, I don't think we want any Klingons.... or a Romulan." 

"Ew no." 

"Okay, let's look at this at a different perspective. What magicks can't we do?" 

"Portals for one." 

"Right. So who on this list can do portals or teleportation?" 

Lashana leaned over Telca's shoulder and scanned the names, frowning suddenly. "Q put his own name here." 

"Which Q?" 

"Pain-in-the-arse Q. There's a little federation insignia next to it." 

"There is no way in hell we're choosing _him_. Who else is there?" 

"Um... Joyrock. He's a Mazoku from the Slayers Movie. He can do spatial shifts. Like portals, only funkier. The downside is that he's a mass murderer." 

"Well like _that's_ surprising. We'll just put him in the 'maybe' pile. Now, we need transportation...." 

~*~ 

All in all, it was a pitiful list. Most of the males listed were either complete basketcases or liable to rip a living being in two just for the sheer joy of it. In the end, they didn't like who they were going to end up with, but they had a plan in mind. Bartering, after all, was every shoppers forte. 

"Alright. Here's the deal you git," Telca announced, folding her arms over her chest as she glared at Q. "We'll take four guys instead of five if you give us our weapons from the Palace." 

"You're in no real place to bargain," he smirked. "I could just take away any and all help I was willing to offer you." 

"Hey! Now look, you were going to give us five guys, it's a fair trade if we give up one of them in exchange for our weapons and a few things!" Lashana growled angrily. "It's not like we're asking for this in exchange for nothing!" 

"Hmm... well, I _suppose_ it's a fair trade... but I'll tack on an extra test for it just the same." Ignoring the loud growls of anger from the two women, he rose his hand and smirked as a bright flash of light flickered above their heads before dozens of weapons rained down on them. "You can choose two each." 

Grumbling, Telca shifted through everything until she found her beloved battleaxe, quickly strapping the harness on so it was nestled against her back before diving back in. "Lashana? Throwing daggers or sword? Oh wait! Something better!" 

The Elf looked up from where she was tying the belt that was attached to the scabbard of her sword around her waist and blinked at the pistol that Telca had just snatched, watching as her friend pulled weapon out or it's holster into the light, admiring it. "Desert Eagle forty-four Magnum-calibre semi-automatic pistol. Sweeet. Yo! Chuckles! How many cartridges come with this thing?" 

Q frowned at the 'Chuckles' nickname, but answered anyway. "None. Like most of your weapons, it has an infinite amount of bullets." 

Lashana grinned at Telca's low cackle and stooped to grab a large dagger, quickly tying it's belt around her right thigh. "There. Done. And..." she turned to look at Q. "We have one other thing to ask for, but it can wait till we have the Guys." 

"Fine." He got rid of the excess weapons with a wave of his hand. "Which ones did you pick?" _This ought to be good._

Once she was finished attaching the pistol's holster to her right hip, Telca grabbed the list again and unfurled it. "Despite our better judgement - and we do hate you for this - we're taking Venom, Joyrick, Skie and Inuyasha." 

Q smirked at the names, at least until he heard the last one. "He wasn't on the list." 

"Was too!" Lashana grinned as Telca turned the list around so Q could see it. "It was in size two font, but it's there. See? Right between Dr. Doom and The Tick." 

"Ugh. Fine." 

The two Avatar's turned at the four flashes of light behind them and tried not to grimace at the sight of their new 'helpers'. They were the best pick of the flock, which should tell you exactly how bad that flock had truly been. True, Inuyasha and Venom weren't _too _bad. The former could be easily controlled, while the latter, though psychotic, had taken an oath to protect all innocents. They could manipulate that little mindset rather easily. The real problems were going to be Skie - a huge blue dragon from the Dragonlance Chronicles - and Joyrock. The latter moreso than the first. 

"Wha... Where are we?!" Venom, aka Eddie Brock, frowned, his outfit of brown boots, blue jeans an a white tee shirt morphing into his usual 'fighting' outfit, the symbiote that had long ago bonded with the human flowing over him until the human was covered in blackness. A white spider symbol blazed across his chest as the symbiote covered his face, morphing into a visage that all together had way too many teeth and looked rather disturbing. 

The three hundred foot long dragon named Skie merely growled lowly and fixed Q with a rather annoyed stare, his wings spreading slightly as the talons of his right claw dug into the marble floor. He was forced to crouch down until his azure belly was pressed against the floor, the lights that seemingly came from nowhere accenting the sapphire tones of his scaled body. Glowering yellow eyes travelled from the smirking man to the two woman in front of him, fixing them with a baleful look for a moment before returning his gaze to Q. "You would dare to summon me against my will, Human?" 

Telca leaned closer to Lashana. "Get the feeling this was a bad idea?" 

"Uh huh." The Elf felt Kalamadea press himself against the side of her neck as she gazed over at Joyrock, fighting to keep a look of disgust from appearing on her face as she did so. He looked humanoid, which was about as far as that 'human' bit went. He had a reptilian like face that only a mother could love. Blood red eyes, a mouth full of serrated teeth and black hair that stood on end and ran in a straight line from the top of his head to the small of his back, ending in a bushy tail. Wicked talons gleamed on each of this three fingers, mirroring the talons on his toes. Imbedded in his chest were three jewels. One was blood red, the size of her fist, right in the middle of his chest. The other two were dark purple and twice the size as the red one, positioned above and to either side of the red jewel. She wasn't about to comment on how those 'orbs' looked like something else entirely. 

Shivering, she turned her attention to Inuyasha, the only good thing that had come out of all this mayhem. The hanyou (half-demon) was looking around suspiciously, his right hand resting on the hilt of the worn-looking katana that was tied to his waist, the meek blade masking its true form and power. White talons dug into the hilt as amber yellow eyes darted around the entire room and it's occupants, dog-like ears peeked out of long silvery white hair, twitching this way and that in irritation. His red clothing she knew, was stronger than any armour, the fire-rats fur protecting him from most deadly attacks. She even figured that it'd save him from a Dragon Slave... 

"What the hell is going on?!" 

And then there was his attitude. _Probably why he wears the armour, his mouth gets him into trouble..._. 

"Now now, let's be civil. You should be honoured, you're the best of the litter, so to speak." 

"Aw will you shut up already?" Telca growled, annoyed by Q's superior tone. "This is all _your _fault anyway!" 

"True. But let's not let technicalities get in the way, shall we? Gentlemen... or whatever... these two... 'ladies' - and I do use the term loosely--" 

"Why I outta..." Lashana snarled wordlessly as Telca grabbed her arms, keeping her from lunging at Q. 

"--have chosen you to be a part of this little.... experiment." 

"You didn't give us a choice! It was either pick them or face certain death!" Telca protested. "Besides, _this is all your fault!_" 

"Oh, do be quiet." 

Lashana yelped as a zipper literally appeared on Telca's face, closing her lips to keep her from talking. "Kisama! You leave her alone!" 

"How quaint, you're standing up for her. Honestly, you mortals are so mind-boggling." Q shook his head sadly for a moment before gazing at the four males, sighing when his attention centred on the dragon. "That just won't do." 

Skie roared in protest as he suddenly found himself at half his natural size, his gaze filled with hatred as he loosed a full-powered lightning breath attack on the human, jaws snapping closed in surprise when his target merely yawned and snapped his fingers, making the attack vanish. "What are you? And where is this place?" 

"He's a pompous pain-in-the-arse immortal.... _something_," Lashana muttered sourly as she folded her arms over her chest, dimly aware that Telca was glaring at Q murderously. "Call's himself 'Q', generally talks way too much and is extremely full of himself." 

"You forgot omnipotent, dashing and handsome," Q added with a smile. 

Lashana grimaced. "And sickening. I forgot sickening." 

Inuyasha turned his gaze to the white-haired woman and frowned. "You know him then." It wasn't a question. 

"I know _of_ him. Never actually met him until today, when he grabbed Telca and I from the Palace and plunked us down in the middle of a frakkin' desert." 

"Mmmrrfn!!" 

Blinking, she turned to look at the other sorceress. "Telca, I can't understand a word you're saying. Oh hell, just a moment? Kalama?" 

::I am not going anywhere near her thoughts when she's got that look in her eyes,:: the dragon said in a tone that discouraged any and all attempts to change his mind. 

"Didn't think so... ack!" The last was due to the fact that she was suddenly face to face with a huge dragon who was fixing her with a rather unfriendly gaze as he took a breath of her scent, then grunted in disgust. 

"Elf. Is this your doing?" 

"Elf?" Joyrock stepped forward and grabbed the woman's throat, tilting her head upwards to look at her. "Hmm, so _that's_ why your emotions are so delicious. If this is your anger, your fear must be exquisite." 

::Get away from her you freak!:: 

Lashana staggered backwards as Joyrock hastily released her, the Mazoku narrowly avoiding the ball of lightning that Kalamadea had launched at him. "Ugh. Thanks littling." She rubbed the back of her hand across her throat, trying to get rid of the feeling of Joyrock's skin against hers. 

"What _are_ you?!" Venom blurted, staring at Joyrock in mixed disgust and curiosity as the Mazoku irritated rubbed at his singed hair. 

"He's Mazoku," Lashana grimaced. "Feeds off of negative emotions. Luckily, Telca and I have prior experiences with Mazoku, so we know how to handle him...." She plastered a happy smile on her face and beamed at Joyrock. "Isn't that right, Joyrock-chan?" 

The Mazoku shuddered and backed away in complete and total revulsion. "Stay away from me!" 

Smirking, the Elf turned back to Q. "Take that thing off of Telca and keep your word! We want three rosaries, like the one Inuyasha is wearing." 

"I don't see why, but fine." 

The moment the zipper faded from Telca's mouth, she took a deep breath, dimly aware that Lashana had already clamped her hands over her ears as she screamed out any and all insults she could think of, where Q could go, and what he could do when he got there. 

::I think I've been scarred for life,:: Kalamadea whispered into the silence that followed, shivering as he moved closer to Lashana. 

"Can a person do that with a photocopying machine?" 

Lashana grimaced and looked over at Venom. "I don't think we want to know." 

Still growling, Telca stalked over to a rather shaken Q, snatched the three rosaries from his hands, and stomped back to Lashana. "Let's just hurry up, throw these on the Brady bunch and go." 

Very aware of Inuyasha as he frantically whispered what the rosaries were for to the other guys, they quickly wove three spells on the necklaces, copying the spell around Inuyasha's rosary perfectly until they held three would-be-collars in their hands. Smirking, they turned to look at the three males, grinned, and attacked. 

Truth be told, it didn't take them that long to get the rosaries onto the males as they had originally thought. The problem was trying to stay alive after they had gotten the necklaces on. 

"Telca! A little help?!" Lashana ducked an energy blast from Joyrock and leapt over Skie's thrashing tail, backflipping to put the last rosary onto the Mazoku before ducking yet another attack. "Oh hell, nevermind." Annoyed, she pointed at Joyrock and snarled. "_STAY!_" 

_WHAM!_

Skie blinked at the Mazoku that had just done a facevault to the floor and slowly turned his gaze to a smirking Elf. "Oh no." 

"_DOWN!_" 

_WHAM!_

Telca grinned as the floor shook from the dragon's drop to the floor and shook her right index finger scoldingly at Venom. "Heel." 

_WHAM!!_

Inuyasha sighed and shook his head as he looked away from the cackling women to the three twitching males that were imbedded an inch into the floor. "I tried to warn ya."   
  
  
  
  
  


_More coming soon. R&R please!_


	3. Teamwork is not a service we offer

**As usual, we (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief (Telca's Cat) and Kalamadea (Lashana's Dragon). Everyone else belongs to whoever created them in the first place (there's too many for me to list). Enjoy the ficcie and R&R please. ^_^**   
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**Chapter 3 : Teamwork is not a service we offer**   
  
  
  


"I was wondering what those were for," Q murmured as he looked from the two smirking women to the three males that were twitching on the floor. 

Lashana placed her fists on her hips and glared at him. "Well, you gave us three psychos Q, did you really expect us to go through with this without having a way to keep them in line?" 

"Get this thing off!! Now!" Joyrock snarled as he sat up and pulled at the rosary, talons uselessly tearing at the beads and rope that held it there. 

"Don't bother," Inuyasha sighed as he leaned up against an invisible wall. "Only they can take it off." Curiousity overwhelming his annoyance, he glanced at the two females and frowned. "So you're Mikos then? Like Kagome?" 

"Er.... kinda," Telca shrugged. "We're Avatars. Granted thanks to Mr. Pain-in-the-arse over there, we can't _use_ our full powers because he's blocked them, but on good days, we're the Avatars of Gaia and Chaos." 

"Chaos?" Joyrock forgot about the rosary for a moment and got to his feet, towering over the two women as he walked over to them. "One of you is L-Sama's Knight? Which?" 

Lashana smirked and waved. "Heyla." 

"Oh dear Gods, no." 

Telca chuckled at the completely horrified tone of Joyrock's voice and turned to look at Venom and Skie. "Those rosaries won't be coming off anytime soon, so you might as well just get used to them. Besides, it could have been worse." 

"How?" Skie grumbled, reluctantly lowering his claws from the necklace as he glanced over at her. 

"They could have been shock collars instead." 

"Telca, he's from Krynn. No modern technology there, remember?" Lashana reminded her as she turned away from Joyrock and looked at the confused dragon. "Shock treatment... see, it's a collar that keeps unruly animals in line by giving them a jolt of electricity every time they misbehave." 

"Hmm.... Like this?" 

"Ack!" Lashana danced out of the way of the full power lightning breath attack and growled. "_Down!_" 

_WHAM!_

"You had that coming," Venom muttered to the collapsed dragon as he let his symbiote pull away from his face, ridding himself of his gruesome mask as he rose a hand and ran taloned fingers through his hair. "Alright. Fine. Since we can't get out of this... can we at least get whatever it is over with?" 

"Certainly!" Q grinned, seeing Lashana and Telca turn to look at him suspiciously. "After all, you don't think I had forgotten about the tests, did you, my dears?" 

"Don't call us that," Telca growled, folding her arms across her chest as she glared at him. "And exactly how many of these 'tests' are there?" 

"Only a few. A dozen or so." 

Lashana yelped. "A dozen?!" 

"Or so," Q added with a smile as he looked over at the four males. "And you four have to help them. If nothing more than to make sure that no one in this group dies. If one person dies, you all die." He turned his gaze on the two women. "And so does your precious 'family'." 

Eyes going amber, Telca lowered her arms to fist her hands by her sides, trembling with rage. "When I get my powers back, I am going to kill you." 

"Somehow my dear, I'm not overly afraid." 

"You will be." 

Everyone turned to look at the two women as they glared at Q, auras of power flickering to life around them. Silver for Telca, golden black for Lashana, the sheer magnitude of power making even Joyrock take a step back in shock. 

"Well. This is surprising. Seems I can't block out all of your Avatar traits..." Q walked over to Telca and gripped her chin, raising her face so that he could look in her eyes, not even flinching at the complete hatred he saw there. "It's melded to your soul...hmm... interesting." He released Telca and went to look at Lashana. "And what's this? The little Elf has a Soul-Bond and a few telepathic links. Tsk tsk, trying to contact your Bonded are you? That just won't do." 

Telca growled as Q snapped his fingers, that ever irritating smirk never leaving his face, even when Lashana suddenly clutched at her chest and screamed, collapsing to her knees as a look of pure torment crossed her features. "Bastard!!" She ran over to the Elf and knelt next to her, ignoring Kalamadea as the dragon shrieked and tried to warn her away. 

Inuyasha's eyes widened in shock as he took a hesitant step towards the agonized woman, then glared at Q. "What did you do?!" 

"Oh, nothing much," Q shrugged. "Just annulled that pesky Soul-Bond." 

"You _what?!_ That could kill her!" Panic rising in her, Telca grabbed Lashana's shoulders, ignoring the fight that was now ongoing between Mischief and Kalamadea as the dragon tried to attack her directly, the cat quickly intercepting and trying to drive him away. 

"Soul Bond?" Skie lowered his head towards the Elf and frowned. "I have never heard of the Elves being able to do that." 

"Not the Elves on your world," Q told him, nodding in Lashana's direction as he did so. "She's from a different world than you, my good lizard." 

Telca growled lowly as she overheard their rather uncaring conversation and gently shook Lashana as the Elf fell silent, her eyes fluttering closed as she went pale. "Oh, shit... Lashana!" 

"Oh, she'll be fine," Q said, growing annoyed. "Stop fretting over insignificant things, would you? It's growing tiresome." 

Eddie Brock glared at him angrily. Even if that woman was the cause of him being dragged into this fiasco, she certainly didn't deserve what Q had just done to her. "Insignificant?! You killed her!" 

"No. She lives." Joyrock crouched next to the Elf and lightly touched her forehead, yelping when the duo of Mischief and Kalamadea attacked him. "Get away vermin! Or do you want her to die and end all our lives?!" 

"I thought Mazoku were immortal," Telca frowned as she gathered Mischief into her arms, relieved to see Kalamadea land on Lashana's stomach and snarl at the demon warningly. 

"Only the High ones," Joyrock muttered sourly, rubbing at a quickly healing talon slash across his cheek. "The Elf lives, barely. She's merely unconscious at the moment." 

"Exactly. Honestly, you mortals..." Q heaved a long suffering sigh and rolled his eyes. "You get so touchy. And you!" He pointed to Kalamadea. "Stop trying to telepathically attack me. You have no idea what you're dealing with. Try it again and you'll suffer a fate worse than death." 

Skie frowned and looked at the Elf, blinking in surprise at the small peacock hued form that was crouched protectively on the woman's stomach, and he belatedly wondered how he had missed it before. Curious now, he lowered his head towards it, rumbling in surprise when it turned to look at him warily. "Why protect her?" 

::Lashana is my mother. She raised my brothers and I from the egg,:: Kalamadea growled, unintimidated by the other dragon that was a hundred times his size. ::Without her, we'd have died from from some wizard's experiment before we were even born.:: 

"She keeps you as pets then." 

::No! We're equals!:: 

Skie frowned at the angry yell that bombarded his thoughts, studying the little one a bit longer. "Mmhm." Moving slowly, he stepped forward until his could arch his head above the two women protectively, looking at Q. "You will not harm the little cousin. Tell us what you want with us and be done with it." 

"Fine. Fine. This is getting boring anyway." Q snapped his fingers and teleported them back to the desert, ignoring Telca's annoyed grumble as he did so. "First test. There's a village nearby. Rather nasty species actually. Cannibalistic. I want one of their trophy skulls from their leaders hut." 

"What?!" Telca shot to her feet. "What kind of a 'test' is this?!" 

"To see how well you work together. And to see if the Elf will survive the night. When you get what I want, I'll send you a file on where to go next." Q turned to look at Joyrock and snapped his fingers again, smiling when the Mazoku looked at him in wary shock. "And no major spatial shifts unless you're opening them to bring the others to the next test. Other than that, you can only shift a distance of a quarter of a mile away from the groups location." That said, he looked back to Telca. "And remember. Only fifteen spells per day. You've already used up three for those fashion disaster necklaces, make the rest count." 

A low wild growl left the sorceress as Q vanished in a flash of light, and she resisted the urge to simply rend something in half as she turned to look down at the Elf again. "Dammit all to hell and back." 

~*~ 

::Lashana? Lashana, can you hear me? Elfy? .....mommy?:: 

The soft worried voice tugged at her consciousness, a lone presence that made itself known as she floated in the shock of having the one constant light in her life ripped from her. The voice called again, and Lashana instinctively clawed at the darkness that held her until bright light assaulted every sense. 

"...nuugh..." 

"I think she's waking up." 

::Elfy!:: 

"Oooh, Kalamadea, not so loud...." Lashana grimaced and rose a hand to her throbbing temple, automatically raising her free arm to hug the draconic form that latched onto her. The sensation of being completely alone and empty overwhelmed her then, and she curled her free hand into a fist, using the pain of having her nails go through her palm to distract herself before she broke down. 

The sudden realization that she was being carried made her open her eyes to look up into Eddie's worried expression, and she frowned as she hopped out of his arms. "I'm fine now. Thanks." 

::Liar.:: 

"Are you alright?!" Telca demanded as she spun around from where she was leading the ragtag group towards the forest and ran over to her friend, grabbing the Elf's shoulders and shaking her gently. "What happened? Is the--" 

Lashana glanced away. "The Bond's gone," she whispered, seeing Telca tense out of the corner of her eye. "It's just.... gone." Giving herself a little shake, she rose her gaze to the other Avatar's again. "Kalamadea brought me back." 

"Shit." Sighing, Telca released her and turned to look over at the nearing forest. "Can you make it?" 

"Stubbornness is a useful thing in the hands of professionals," Lashana smirked, looking at Telca reassuringly. "C'mon." 

"You're insane, you know that?" Telca growled as she stalked after her, dimly aware that the males were following just close enough to be in earshot of their conversation. "You're making jokes at a time like this?!" 

"Well, it's either jokes and my usual attitude or a complete breakdown," the Elf shrugged, glancing back at the other Avatar as Kalamadea firmly planted himself on her right shoulder, his tail dangerously tight around her throat. "Pick one." 

_Gods, I am so going to beat the crap out of Q when this is over._ "Yeah, okay. Point." 

"Good. So what are we doing here, exactly?" 

"Oh, Q wants a souvenir." 

"What?" 

"He wants us to invade a cannibal tribe and get him a trophy skull," Inuyasha told her as he moved to walk by her side, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he did so. "After we do that, he'll send us on the next 'test'." 

"Lovely." 

"Oh, and the blue lizard was muttering about wanting to talk to you." 

Skie growled lowly where he was leisurely keeping pace with them and swatted at the hanyou with his tail. "Mind your own business!" 

"Add to that the fact that Joyrock's pissed cuz Q's limited his shifting abilities and it's been a real hoot around here," Telca muttered sourly. "You waking up has been the high point of the whole bloody afternoon." 

"Afternoon? How long was I out?!" 

"Four hours, give or take." Eddie saw her pale slightly at the information. "What did he do to you anyway?" 

"I... I'm Soul Bonded to another... or at least I was. Q... destroyed the link we shared, Soul to Soul." Lashana rose her gaze to the distant forest, feeling Kalamadea rub his cheek against hers reassuringly. "It's like having a part of you ripped away, and all that's left is a cold emptiness. I was also linked to my three dragons.... If Kalamadea wasn't here...." 

::He broke my ties to Mewtwo,:: the dragon murmured into her thoughts. ::It's lonely now.:: 

_I know, littling..._ Mustering up what emotional strength she had left, she quickly pushed her feelings aside and concentrated on the 'here and now'. "Anyway, I'm awake and alive, so technically I'm alright." 

Telca snorted. "Oh yeah, sure. And hippos fly." 

"Mreow." 

"That's right. You tell her Mischief." 

Lashana rolled her eyes and casually hopped off the edge of a dune, the heels of her boots digging deep into the sand as she slid down the side of it. "C'mon, Telca! I'm not getting any younger!" 

"Your coping skills _suck!_" The sorceress yelled as she scrambled after her friend, glaring at Skie when he spread his wings. "And where do you think _you're_ going?" 

The dragon snorted and ignored her, choosing instead to crouch slightly before leaping into the air, his wings kicking up huge clouds of sand that made the others cough violently. "I don't take orders from you." 

"The hell you don't!" Telca growled out in between trying to breathe through the lungful of sand she had just inhaled and trying to clear the air in front of herself. "Lashana! Get him!" 

Sighing, the Elf looked up at the flying dragon and shook her head when it looked like he was fully intending to leave them all behind. "Khellendros!!" She waited until he had ducked his head under his right wing to look back at her in shock before smirking. "_DOWN!_" 

**_WHAM!!_**

"That's gotta hurt," Joyrock winced as he followed Venom and Telca down the side of the dune, grumbling when Inuyasha merely leapt over all of them and lightly landed next to the Elf. 

Kalamadea shivered. ::Glad I don't have one of those things on.:: 

"I'd never even dream of putting one on you, littling," Lashana assured him as she casually walked over to the dragon that had plummeted from the sky and imbedded himself a foot into the sand. "What do you think that was going to accomplish, hmm? Q will only end up killing you as a result." 

"You...." He snarled and rose his head high above her, teeth fully bared. "How do you know that name?!" 

She shrugged. "I've read about you, Khellendros the Blue, or Skie as most mortals call you. You're the only Dragon Overload native to Ansalon, the first to join Malys in conquering new territories, and the only dragon that so loyally served your rider. I am sorry that you lost her, by the way." 

"I don't want your _pity_ Elf!" 

"It's not pity. I know what it's like to lose someone you care for. At the moment, I know how it feels better than most." 

He growled lowly and glared at her, surprised when she calmly met his gaze, the little dragon on her shoulder watching him warily. "What that creature said, Q, about you not being from my world.... I didn't think he spoke truth.... But no Elf from Krynn would feel for dragons as you do. Even those platinum dragons instill fear where ever they go, and yet you.... do not fear me." 

"Annoying, ain't it?" she smirked as she turned and headed after Telca and the others, who hadn't bothered to wait for them. _This.... is going to be a bad day._

Kalamadea blinked and looked at her. ::You mean it isn't already?:: 

~*~ 

"Ahhh! Shade!" Telca grinned in relief and leaned against a tree, ignoring the fact that it was multicoloured as she enjoyed the sensation of _not_ being roasted alive by the sun. 

"This place is beyond psychotic," Eddie murmured as he looked from the rainbow tree to the plaid one, turning at a happy sigh in time to see the Elf leap into a tree and recline on a large branch. 

"You are in no place to comment on anything being psychotic, Venom," Telca smirked, letting Mischief hop out of her arms and bound into the bright yellow ferns. 

"Neither are you," Joyrock grumbled, ignoring the glare that she sent him in return. 

Lashana rolled her eyes and shifted to lie down on her stomach, looking down at everyone as Kalamadea climbed over her to curl up on her back. "Well, what now? Where's this cannibal group we're supposed to pester?" 

"Close," Inuyasha grimaced, ears twitching in annoyance as he followed the Elf's example and leapt into a tree, seating himself on a sturdy branch. "I can smell them. They stink. Worse than the demon frog." 

"Oh yeah?" Joyrock turned and hissed. "Come down here and say that dog-boy!" 

"Teme!" The hanyou growled and leapt from the tree, talons of his right hand glowing. "_Sakonte--_" 

"_SIT! STAY!!_" 

_WHAM!! WHAM!!_

"There will be no infighting," Telca told the two who were sprawled on the ground and twitching. 

A smirk spread across Eddie's lips. "Is that even a word?" 

"If it wasn't before, it is now," Lashana chuckled as she rested her chin on her crossed arms and gazed down at the two males who were just starting to peel themselves off the ground. "Well, I kinda want to get this over with, the scenery is giving me a migraine." 

"Migraine?" 

Kalamadea paused in the middle of cleaning his talons and looked at Skie. ::Very severe headache.:: 

"Ah. Then on that, you're not alone. I much prefer Krynn's landscapes to _this_." 

"Ditto." Sighing, Lashana gathered Kalamadea in her arms and backflipped off the branch, landing in a slight crouch next to Telca. "Yo, Inuyasha, think you can track those cannibals down?" 

"Only if the demon-frog stays downwind." 

"Alright! That's it! I'm gonna--" 

"_SIT!_" 

"_STAY!!_" 

_WHAM! WHAM!_

"We're never going to get anywhere at this rate," Telca growled as she pushed away from the tree she had been leaning on and looked around. "Um... where's Mischief?" 

Lashana paled and exchanged wary glances with Eddie before lightly nudging Kalamadea's thoughts. _Littling, do me a favor and go find that damned cat, will you?_

::Hai. I've been needing to stretch my wings anyway,:: he nodded, taking a moment to finish cleaning his talons before spreading his wings and leaping out of her arms, circling her once before silently gliding off in the direction Mischief had gone. 

"Uuugh... will you two stop doing that?" Joyrock groaned as he shakily rose his head from the ground, glaring up at Telca irritatedly. "That really hurts." 

She smiled sweetly. "Well if you'd stop being such an ass, we wouldn't have to say The Word, now would we?" 

"Alright, look. Whether we like it or not, we're all stuck with each other until this stupid retarded fiasco is over with," Lashana said, looking at each of them in turn before adjusting her sword belt and turning to head after Kalamadea. "So can we just go already?" 

"Elfy's got a point," Inuyasha grumbled as he stood and shook dirt out of his hair, glaring at Joyrock for a moment before grunting and running after Lashana. 

Telca smirked and walked past Joyrock. "C'mon Froggo." 

"Don't call me that!" 

"Hehe." 

Lashana rolled her eyes as she walked through the thick forest undergrowth, constantly keeping an eye open for Kalamadea or Mischief as she did so. The sound of a tree branch creaking above her drew her gaze, and she blinked as she watched Venom shoot a line of webbing out from the back of his hand before swinging out to the next tree. Figuring that he couldn't get into too much trouble up there, she turned her attention back to where she was going, sighing as she hopped over a rotted tree stump. 

"This is stupid." 

"Hai," she murmured, glancing back at Inuyasha. "You'd think Q could find better ways to get his kicks instead of tormenting us." 

"Feh. Probably isn't smart enough to think of something else." The hanyou paused and sniffed the air for a moment before pointing a little to the left. "That way." 

Lashana followed his pointing talon and frowned, her curiousity getting the better of her as she walked over to the spot where the vegetation grew thickest, numerous vines and thick thorn bushes blocking any entrance. Being careful, she reached out and brushed some partially dead branches aside, leaping back in shock when she uncovered a marker made out of skulls and dried blood. "Telca! Over here!" 

"What'd you find?" The other Avatar crashed through the ferns and skidded to a stop next to the Elf, grimacing at what her friend had found. "Ew." 

"It's a warning marker," Skie grumbled as he squeezed his bulk in between two trees, hating how being in this damnable forest limited his mobility. "Their territory starts here." 

"Hmm..." Lashana looked from the marker to the dragon. "Look, we can't exactly be all stealthful if you're with us knocking trees over to get through. Get out of here and follow us from the air, okay? If anything you can at least find their camp or whatever before us and tell us if we're going the right way." 

He looked at her in surprise for a moment before nodding. "Fine. I'll scout the area. If you find the little cousin, see if he can relay. That way we won't give away our position by yelling." 

Telca blinked as the huge dragon turned away and looked at Lashana. "How is it that you always manage to make the murderous psychotics like you?" 

"I.... have no clue what so ever," the Elf murmured, shrugging as she turned back to the marker. "Well... I suppose we have to go this way then." Taking a step back, she drew her sword and eyed the thick vines a moment before tightening her hold on the hilt and savagely slashing at them, cutting a rough path through them. 

"_Sankontessou!_" 

"Yipe!" Lashana threw herself aside, barely avoiding Inuyasha's attack as it flew past her and slammed into the undergrowth, obliterating it and making a slight path through it. Annoyed, she looked at her now shortened bangs, then at Inuyasha. "Ahem." 

"Eh?" he looked at her and blinked as she pointed to the locks of her hair that were on the ground at her feet. "Oh. Um... Get out of the way next time! Baka!" 

"_Sit!_" 

_WHAM!_

"Who's the baka now?" Joyrock snickered as he stepped over the twitching hanyou and followed the two Avatars into the brush. 

Lashana grumbled under her breath for a moment before glancing over at the other sorceress that was walking beside her. "Ne, you okay?" 

"Oh, I'm _great!_" Telca snarled. "I've had most of my powers nulled, I've trekked around for hours in the gods forsaken sun, I haven't eaten yet and I don't smell good. Oh yes, I all kinds of fabulous over here!" 

"Gee, I'm _so_ glad Q took that zipper off," Lashana groused as she cut a few thorn bushes out of the way. "And where the hell is Venom?" 

::_ELFY!!_:: 

"Gah!" She winced and clutched at her head for a moment, stunned by the loud telepathic scream. It only took a few seconds for her to recover, and she immediately ran forward, ignoring Telca's yells about how they had to conserve spells as she blasted the bothersome vines and bushes out of her way with a fireball. "Kalamadea!" 

The small blue dragon burst through the smoke caused by the spell and divebombed her, slamming into her with enough force that she staggered backwards, her arms automatically rising to hug the shivering form to her. "Littling! What happened?!" 

"Mischief!" Telca knelt and caught the cat that bolted towards her, frowning at how the animal's fur was completely on end, a wild panicked look in her eyes. "What the hell?" 

"Hey!" All eyes turned towards Lashana's outraged scream. "Something _bit_ Kalamadea!" 

"What?!" 

Fairly shaking with rage, she carefully checked the very visible tiny bite mark on her dragons left haunch, her mood not aided by the fact that he was whimpering as he clung to her, his chest firmly pressed over her heart. _Shh, shh, it's okay. You're safe here..._

"Mischief seems to be okay," Telca reported after worriedly checking her cat over, relieved to see that, while shaken, she was alright. "How is he?" 

"Don't know yet. I can't seem to get a full sentence out of him," Lashana murmured, frowning in concentration as she tried to understand Kalamadea's thoughts, shifting through a constant flood of his emotions as she did so. "All I can get is 'horde is coming' and 'fangs'. And Joyrock, if you're feeding off of his emotions I swear I'm gonna hurt you." 

The Mazoku paled slightly and backed away, frowning when he felt something brush his ankle. "Nani?" Curious, he looked down in time to see something red vanish into a bush. "What the?" 

"It's a bush," Inuyasha explained. "Y'know, a bush?" 

"Shut up." He half-heartedly swatted at the hanyou. "I saw something move." 

"Oh?" His own curiousity getting the better of him, Inuyasha crouched and peered under the bush, wrinkling his nose at the stench of carrion. "Ugh. Whatever it was, it reeked of blood." 

"Well dammit." Telca looked around for a moment before frowning. "_HEEL!_" 

Off in the distance, there was the distinct sound of a yell and a very painful sounding 'thud'. 

"Found Venom. C'mon. Let's regroup and find out what the hell's going on." 

"You're taking way too much pleasure out of those necklaces," Joyrock grumbled as he followed them deeper into the very unpleasant underbrush. Truth be told, he wished he could just space shift his way around, walking was highly overrated. And now that he was stuck wearing this accursed rosary, he had no choice but to listen to these two insane females. Granted.... if that Elf really _was_ the Chaos Knight, then as a Mazoku he was bound to obey her... _Hah. She could've been lying. There has never been a female Chaos Knight, and I can't see why L-Sama would choose this one._

"'Shana? How is he?" 

He glanced over at the Elf as she hugged the small dragon to herself, muttering something in reply to Telca as she did so. Whatever that little thing had run into, Joyrock couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive of meeting it. Granted, the dragon was only the size of a cat, what frightened it probably wouldn't frighten the rest of them. 

"Did you have to do that?!" Venom yelled when he saw the group, glaring at Telca angrily. "That _hurt!_" He was about to keep yelling, only the sound of a soft whimpering caught his attention, distracting him. "What happened?" 

"I don't know. Kalamadea found.... _something._ I just don't know what." Lashana growled slightly and narrowed her eyes, fangs bared. "But when I find out what it was, it is going to be very, _very_ dead." 

At Venom's curious look, Inuyasha shrugged. "It bit the dragon." 

"Oh." 

Telca rolled her eyes. _Lords what have we gotten ourselves into?_ Mischief wriggled in her arms then, and she frowned when her cat arched her back slightly and hissed, her ears lying flat against her skull. "Um.... I think we may be in trouble." 

The three males tensed a little and warily looked around, trying to see what exactly was setting the cat off like that. Inuyasha growled softly then, ears folding against his head as he picked up a powerful scent of dried blood. "It's here."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Attack of the itty bittys

_Insert usual disclaimer about Lashana and Telca owning nothing except themselves, Kalamadea and Mischief here._   
  
  
  


**Chapter 4 : Attack of the itty bittys**   
  
  
  


"What?!" Telca's gaze darted around the area they were in as Mischief's hisses grew into full fledged yowls. "Where? I can't see anything!" 

::Mommy!:: 

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Everything's okay..." Lashana held the terrified dragon closer to herself as he buried his head into the crook of her right shoulder and freed her right arm so that she could raise her sword. 

"How is this okay?!" Joyrock growled as the bushes all around them started shaking, high-pitched cries of challenge drifting down from the treetops. 

"Shut. Up. There isn't time for this!" 

"Hey! What's that?" 

Everyone turned at Venom's question in time to see him crouch down and poke at a small red and black form that had just emerged from a bush, the symbiote that was covering Eddie's hand extending it's own curious tendril to nudge the tiny creature. 

"What the hell?" Telca blinked and leaned over the psycho's shoulder. "It looks like a smurf." 

"_This_ is what the dragon's afraid of?" Inuyasha laughed and knelt to poke at the thing with a talon. "How can this pitiful little thing be scaryyy--IIIIEE!!! GET IT OFF!!!" 

Lashana quirked an eyebrow as the hanyou shot to his feet, frantically shaking his left hand to try to get the little creature that had sunk it's rather large fangs right into his finger. "What was that you just said, Inuyasha?" 

"Waaaait a minute. Didn't the dragon say 'horde'?" Joyrock asked, looking at Lashana warily and seeing her pale. "That's what I thought." 

"Horde? Uh oh. Then that means...." Getting to his feet, Venom meekly pointed to the treetops, where hundreds of the little things were repelling down towards them. 

"Oh shit! _Run!_" 

"I can't believe we're running from smurfs!" Telca yelled as she and Lashana led the way through the underbrush, shoving bushes and vines aside as they did so, the three males in close pursuit as the horde of little creatures swarmed after them. 

"We can't fight in here! We need open space!" the Elf yelled back, ducking to avoid a low branch and yelping when she tripped on a tree root, Kalamadea tumbling from her arms as she slammed to the ground. "...ow..." The sound of the swarm close behind made her scramble to her knees, screaming when something landed on her back and jabbed her in the shoulder with a tiny spear. "_Get it off!! _--urk!" 

Joyrock spun at the scream in time to see twenty smurf-things loop a rope around the Elf's neck, pulling backwards in a bid to knock her over as they strangled her. _Aw hell...._ "Don't move!" 

Even while being strangled, she still managed to shoot him a look of 'are you insane?!' before the rope tightened, cutting into her skin as more of the things latched onto her. The sight of Joyrock fully opening his mouth made her grimace before she remembered one of his attacks from the Slayers Movie she had seen him in, and despite her better judgement, she froze in place, closing her eyes as he spat/launched a ball of fire energy at the horde. 

"C'mon!" Telca grabbed Kalamadea off the ground and let him get a death grip on her hair before ducking one of the little bastards that tried to land on her and backhanding it off the vine it had swung down on. 

Lashana, now free of the rope, snarled and surged to her feet, turning to glare down at the swarm as she did so, an aura of rage flickering into sight around her as she rose her hands, the energy that was growing around her giving birth to a powerful wind that lifted her now partially unbound hair from her shoulders. "You want a fight?! You got one!" 

"No!" Telca scooped a rock off the ground and pitched it at the Elf, hitting her in the back of the head. "We have to conserve spells!" 

"Are you insane?! This doesn't warrant a spell?!" 

Venom turned in time to see another thing dive out of a tree at her. "Watch out!" 

Snarling, she spun and instinctively flared her aura, chuckling lowly when the creature hit the glowing energy and got fried. "Aha. No spells required." 

"Good!" Inuyasha grabbed her left wrist and ran after the others. "Go! We'll use her as a shield!" 

"What?! No! Put me down this instant you--!" 

**_WHAM!_**

"....oopsie." 

The entire group skidded to a stop and turned to look at the dragon that had slammed into the ground behind them, the rosary glowing brightly a moment longer before reverting to it's normal brown colour. Snarling, Skie rose his head and glared at the Elf for a moment before grimacing and slowly getting to his feet, shaking a vicious goo off his right forefoot. 

"Well...." Telca fought to keep herself from laughing, her voice wavering with mirth. "On the bright side, we got rid of the horde." 

Kalamadea grimaced. ::Ew.:: 

~*~ 

"That was the most pitiful victory I have _ever_ had the misfortune of being involved in!" Skie snarled as he rolled himself across a clearing filled with lush grass, trying to clean most of the goo off of himself. 

Eddie grimaced in disgust while the symbiote flowed around him, altering itself to appear like blue jeans, boots and a blue t-shirt. "That was just gross. I can't believe you two find this funny." 

"It's just too pitiful not to be funny!" Lashana chuckled, glancing at Telca who was having a hard time trying not to snicker. 

Joyrock smirked from where he was sitting in a tree, enjoying the emotions of sheer disgust from both the human and the dragon. "You know, she's got a point." 

"Oh, shut up," Inuyasha grumbled as he walked out of the forest, sending an annoyed look at the Mazoku before heading over to the two Avatars and tossing something at Telca. "Found it." 

Telca grinned and snatched the small skull out of the air, ignoring the disturbing fact that it seemed to have once been a dog. "Great! Yo! Q! Get yer arse over here you baka! We found your stupid skull!" 

"One down, eleven to go," Lashana sighed, reaching up to tug the elastic out of her hair and smiling slightly when Kalamadea flew over to her and took his usual perch on her right shoulder, hiding himself in her hair. 

"That's eleven 'or so', my dear Elf." Q reminded her as he appeared in front of them, smiling as he caught the skull that Telca threw at him. "Ah. I see you found it. And you all survived too, I'm amazed." 

Eddie frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "Well good for you. Can we leave the paint-by-number gone wrong forest now?" 

"Oooh, thought of that all by yourself, did you?" Q drawled, smirking when the human glared at him angrily. 

"Will you just get on with it already?!" 

Q turned at the yell and arched an eyebrow at Lashana, seeing her eyes momentarily flash from blue to gold. "Certainly, my dear Knight. Which test would you like first? The diamond or the book?" 

_Diamond or the book?_ The Elf glanced around at the group, receiving numerous shrugs as a response. "A lot of help you people are." 

"Fine, fine," Telca looked at Q. "The diamond." 

"You're sure now?" 

Lashana growled, sending Q a scathing glare. "I hate you." 

"Please take notice in how little I care. Now, for this, I'm going to have to be a little lenient." 

"Ha!" 

Ignoring the grunt of disbelief from Joyrock, Q turned to look at Skie and frowned. "Despite my better judgement, I'm going to let you be in control of your size. You'll be able to either return to your normal form or choose a smaller form at will. But this is only temporary." 

"Feh," Inuyasha folded his arms over his chest. "And what's the catch?" 

"Catch? Why would you think there'd be a catch?" When everyone gave him long suffering glares, Q smirked. "There's no catch. I'd imagine that the test you're about to partake in will be difficult enough without any catches." 

Telca glanced at Lashana and sighed. "Lovely." 

Grumbling under his breath, Eddie looked over at Joyrock. "Well? You're the one who's supposed to be shifting us places, remember?" 

"I don't even know where we're going yet, baka!" 

Q smirked. "That'll change. You see, this is the last time I'll help you--" 

"You call this 'help'?!" 

"Yes. As I was saying. This will be the last time I help you. After this, you'll merely be given messages on where... or when... to go." 

"'When'?" Lashana glanced at Telca. "Oh dear lords, that doesn't sound good." 

Stifling the urge to chuckle, Q smiled at all of them and waved. "Have fun now." 

Telca blinked as he vanished, then growled softly. "Bastard. Alright, fine. Where the hell are we supposed to go?" She said the last to Joyrock, who gave her a bewildered look. 

"I have no clue." 

::Elfy, look there.:: 

"Hmm?" Lashana turned as Kalamadea leaped off her shoulder and followed him with her gaze as he glided down to land on the ground where Q had been moments before, ripping out pieces of neon pink grass before ducking his head down and pulling out a small silver item. "What is that? Hey! A Palm Pilot!" 

Telca grabbed it out of Kalamadea's jaws and looked at it, lightly touching a few options on the touch-sensitive screen before grumbling. "A neutered one. No email, no internet...." 

"....no way to contact the guys," Lashana finished with a sigh. "Damn." 

"Mmhm. There is however, numerous folders about the tests. Looks like all but the one we're supposed to do are encrypted though." 

"They'll probably only open after we finish each test," Eddie mused, daring to look over her shoulder. "What's the one we're supposed to do now?" 

"Um.... Well, I can't read the first part, I have no idea what language that's in. But the rest says that we're supposed to get the diamond on the top of the temple." Telca paused for a moment, then sighed. "I have no idea what that means." 

Lashana frowned and peered at the small screen for a moment before gasping in surprise. "Give it here for a second." 

Meanwhile, Joyrock, Inuyasha and Skie were glancing from the trio to each other. 

"What's a 'Palm Pilot'?" Joyrock frowned. 

Skie shrugged, wings opening and folding with the motion. "I don't know. What's an 'internet'?" 

"Yatta! I know where we're supposed to go!" Lashana grinned and pointed at the first sentence that Telca hadn't understood. "'Go to Egypt in 1933 and steal the diamond on the top of the temple found in the desert oasis of Ahm Shere....'" She trailed off and rose her disbelieving gaze to Telca. "That's from the Mummy Returns movie!" 

"Oh, man. You mean we're going to have to trek through _another_ desert, fight dead people, Anubis warriors and run away from flesh eating bugs?! Okay, this was _not_ in our job descriptions!" 

"Telca, we don't _have_ job descriptions." 

The sorceress shrugged. "It was a good line though." 

Joyrock rolled his eyes as he walked over to the Elf and curiously looked at the small silver device she was holding, his eyes widening when he saw the small writing there. "You can read that?!" 

Lashana looked at him. "Well, duh." 

::He's a tad slow, I see,:: Kalamadea chuckled as he lazily stretched his wings and twisted his head around to lick at the bite he had received from the demon smurf creatures. 

"That's the Mazoku language! The one that L-Sama...." he trailed off and looked at her in shock. "Impossible...." 

::You'd think he'd have figured it out by now. At the very least he should have noticed just by seeing your aura,:: Kalamadea muttered, flexing his leg a little before flying back up to perch on her shoulder. ::Or just by sensing you.:: 

_Ne, Q blocked most of my powers, remember? That probably has a lot to do with it._ Lashana sighed and pocketed the Palm Pilot before elbowing a slightly catatonic Joyrock in the ribs. "Make with the spatial shifting already." The sensation of a weight settling on her left shoulder made her jump slightly, and she glanced over to come face to face with Skie, who was no bigger than Kalamadea. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" 

"You don't seriously think that he's capable of opening a gateway large enough to accommodate me, do you?" 

Telca smirked at the Elf. "You certainly have a way with the psychopaths." 

"She should," Eddie chuckled. "You're her friend." 

"Hey! I resent that!" 

Joyrock shook himself awake as he sensed Telca's anger and automatically absorbed the emotion, feeding off of it as he turned and raked a talon across the air, a shimmering purple tear appearing in the space his talon cut through. Ignoring the silence behind him as the others watched what he was doing, he casually reached out and grabbed an edge of the 'cut', pulling it open. "Well? Are we going or not?" 

"Don't get yer tail in a knot, frog," Inuyasha grumbled as Telca shoved Eddie in first before deeming it safe enough for her to go through. He yelped moments later when Lashana smacked him upside the head, and started to turn to yell at her only to be forcibly propelled into the tear. "Bitch!" 

"That's Miss Bitch to you pal!" Lashana yelled after him as she ducked past Joyrock and stepped into the shift, dimly aware that the Mazoku was close behind her as she immediately emerged into a stiflingly hot desert. "Ugh. Not again." 

Skie hissed in pleasure and threw himself into the air, returning to his natural size in mid leap before winging upwards, delighting in the sensation of the wondrous desert heat. He hadn't even noticed that he had knocked the entire group over in the process of returning to his natural size. 

"I hate that dragon," Telca growled as she sat up and shook sand out of her hair. 

"You!" Lashana glared at Inuyasha as he stood and proceeded to try to get the sand out of his clothes. "_Sit!_" 

"Ack!" _WHAM!!_ "_Bitch!_" 

"_Sit!_" 

Eddie winced as Inuyasha sunk a foot into the sand after that last 'sit' and felt his symbiote shiver slightly. _Glad that wasn't us...._

"Having fun?" Telca chuckled as she got to her feet then helpfully pulled the Elf up, smirking when she glanced down at Mischief in time to see the cat try to shake sand out from between the toes of her right hind leg. 

"I'd have more fun if there was a five star hotel around here," Lashana muttered sourly, feeling Kalamadea dig his talons into her shirt as she shook sand out of her hair. 

Joyrock grumbled lowly and slowly pulled himself to his feet, bushy tail flicking once in irritation as he looked around the wasteland they were in, blinking when he saw an expanse of green nearby. "Is that an illusion?" 

Kalamadea frowned and climbed up until he was perched on the top of Lashana's head, claws holding onto her hair for balance as he stared in the direction of the Mazoku's pointing finger. ::No! It's a real forest! And it's a normal colour!:: 

"Oh thank the Gods," Lashana breathed, shielding her eyes with a hand as she took a quick look around. "Um... where's Skie?" 

Telca growled softly. "He probably bailed on us." 

"The idea did occur to me." 

Lashana jerked her head upwards at the low rumble and blinked up at Skie as he seemingly materialized above them, his natural blue scales easily merging with the blue sky, giving him the perfect camouflage. Feeling Kalamadea slip off, she reached back with a hand and caught him, giving him a boost up until he was hanging off her shoulder. "Sorry, littling." 

"Littling?" Skie frowned and landed nearby, taking a single step forward and lowering his head to be close to eye-level with the Elf, seeing the others take a step back in shock when they realised exactly how large his natural size truly was. "You speak to him as dragons do their young.... as a mother would." 

::I _told_ you that she raised us!:: Kalamadea huffed, glaring at the other dragon in annoyance. ::What, was I talking to myself or something?:: 

Telca laughed. "Oh yeah, Elfy, he's definitely yours." 

"Oh, do shut up. And don't call me 'Elfy', Battleaxe!" 

"Can we yell at each other in the forest?" Joyrock growled. "This sun is going to kill me!" 

Sighing, Lashana looked over at him, Skie a powerful presence at her back. "Look, it's not that far, can't you shift us over there? Q said you could still shift a little bit, right?" 

He frowned for a moment, inwardly looking at his own powers. While dulled, it was possible that he could shift from place to place, just not very far. "It's possible, but shifting from place to place is different than dimension to dimension. And I've never brought someone else with me when I shift, so I don't know how it would affect you." A slow malicious grin spread over his face as he grabbed the Elf's wrist. "Let's find out." 

"What?! No! St--" The last was cut off as their surroundings blurred with shimmering purple light, and she felt Kalamadea's talons pierce the flesh on her shoulder as the world around them seemed to fold in on itself before they were suddenly standing at the edge of the forest. 

"Well," Joyrock released her wrist and looked from her to the forest, delighting in the rage and slight fear he sensed from her. "That went better than I--" 

"**_STAY!!_**" 

**_WHAM!_**

~*~ 

"Well, I see he's been properly subdued," Telca grumbled when she and the others had finally managed to catch up with the duo. It would have taken less time had Skie not been a stubborn git and refused to fly them all there. She stifled the urge to scream and eyed Joyrock where he was lying face down on the ground, reaching out to nudge him in the arm with the toe of her boot. "Are ya dead?" 

"She's been 'staying' me for the past hour. I might be," he moaned thinly, not even bothering to try to get up. Everytime he had, the Elf had 'stayed' him again. So he just lay there, in the very deep imprint of himself, hoping that the arrival of the others would distract her enough that he'd be able to get away. 

Eddie glanced at the Mazoku for a moment before raising his gaze to the Elf that was perched up in a tree, her arms folded over her chest as she glared down at Joyrock murderously, obviously waiting for him to make a move so she could 'stay' him again. "As much as he deserves it, maybe you should stop. He's really denting the ground, it can't be good for the environment." 

Lashana growled softly, hesitant to agree. But that hole _was _getting pretty deep... "I'll think about it." 

"Yeah, well, while you're up there. See if you can spot a good place to camp," Inuyasha called up to her. "The sun's setting and we gotta find wood for a fire." 

"Mreow." 

Telca automatically reached up to bury her fingers in Mischief's fur, feeling the vibration of the cat's purring as she frowned and turned to look out over the desert. _I wonder what Q meant when he said 'we'll see if the Elf survives the night'? Damned git, why does he always have to only hint at what he's saying? Ugh, males._

"Telca?" 

She blinked and glanced over at Inuyasha, frowning when she saw the others staring at her. "What?" 

"You coming?" Lashana asked as she hopped to the ground, pointing deeper into the forest. "There's a clearing nearby." 

"Yeah, I'm coming." Sighing, the turned her back on the desert and headed after the ground, purposefully stepping on Joyrock's back as she did so. "Oops. Sorry. Didn't see you there." 

"The hell you didn't," he grumbled as he slowly got to his feet, brushing dirt and grass off of himself before resigning himself to a long night of torment as he followed the group. 

"Well, this is better than I thought," Lashana mused once she had shoved her way through a bunch of low branches and emerged into the clearing, taking a moment to look around before walking over to a dead tree stump. 

"What's she doing?" Eddie whispered to Inuyasha, who shrugged. They both yelped seconds later when she sunk her nails into the dried bark and simply uprooted the entire thing, hefting it over her head for a moment before tossing it into the middle of the clearing. 

"Heh. _Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright. Let thy power gather in my hands! FIREBALL!!_" 

Telca looked from the large makeshift campfire to the smirking Elf. "Enjoyed that, did you?" 

"I've been wanting to blow something up for hours!" she grinned, brushing her hands clean on her jeans before tucking her hair behind her pointed ears, keeping the locks out of her face. "You think Pizza Pizza delivers here?" 

"It's nineteen thirty-three. Pizza Pizza doesn't even _exist,_" Telca reminded her as she threw herself down onto the grass and relocated Mischief to her lap, lightly stroking the cat's velvet fur,dimly aware of Joyrock, Inuyasha and Skie's completely baffled expressions. When she looked up again, she saw Lashana perched in yet another tree, and she rolled her eyes as she lightly pitched a small rock at her. "What's with the trees all of a sudden?" 

"I like it up here," Lashana shrugged, grinning when Inuyasha and Joyrock relocated themselves into other trees around her. 

"Yeah well, just don't fall out. If you break something, I'm not going to be the one who'll carry you out of here." 

"Gee, I can feel the love." Yawning, Lashana leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes, feeling Kalamadea relocate to her lap as she listened to the sounds of the forest around her, tensing when she heard a low deep rumble that steadily grew into a loud growling. _Oh crud..._ "What the hell was that?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. We try to rest and look what happens

**As usual, we (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief (Telca's Cat) and Kalamadea (Lashana's Dragon). Everyone else belongs to whoever created them in the first place (there's too many for me to list). Enjoy the ficcie and R&R please. ^_^**

Sparda219 - Hotel of the Harem is somewhere buried amongst all the fics on my hard drive. I've been having a crappy few weeks, and thus have turned my attention to my Dragonheart ficcie (which I just finished today, yay!), though I'm still debating on whether I'll post it or not. But no worries, Hotel of the Harem is _not_ dead, I'll continue to add to it as soon as the mood to write more of it strikes me --Lashana   
  
  
  


**Chapter 5 : We try to rest and look what happens**   
  
  
  
  


Skie rose his head and actually managed to look sheepish. "My stomach." 

Telca blinked for a moment, then exchanged glances with Lashana before bursting out into hysterical laughter. 

"Go hunting then," Lashana grinning, her voice wavering with suppressed laughter. Judging by the way Skie was glaring at Telca, she figured it was a good idea if she didn't follow her friend's example. "It's a forest. There's got to be _something._" 

The dragon looked at her in surprise before nodding and gracefully getting to his feet, spreading his wings to their full extension as he stretched. "Be on your guards while I'm away. This forest has eyes." 

"Feh, as if we need to worry about _that_," Inuyasha snorted as he lay down on his right side along a branch, propping his head up with a fist while he gazed down into the fire. "It's not as if there's yokai in this place." 

"Don't be too sure," Telca muttered after her laughter had abated, dimly aware that Skie had turned to look at her curiously at that remark. "This place is the death place of the Scorpion King. Major bad mojo." 

"Thank you for the foreshadowing comment, Telca." The Elf smirked and looked at Skie. "Why are you still here? Go hunt. But bring us back something if you make a kill! Like a haunch." 

He grunted. "You'd have me share my kill with the likes of you?" 

"Unless you want me to say The Word, then yes. Yes, I do." 

Grumbling, he reluctantly nodded in agreement before crouching down and springing into the air, wings snapping out to their full four hundred foot extension as he gave the crucial downbeat, the undercurrents of it nearly knocking the three people out of the trees before he caught a strong wind and soared east. 

Eddie frowned and shifted to sit lotus style, resting his right elbow on his knee so he could prop his head up with a fist. "You two owe us an explanation." 

Telca blinked and looked at him across the fire. "Oh?" 

Annoyed at her rather light tone of voice, he stifled a growl and met her gaze. "You two seem to know a lot about us, and the others," he gestured in the direction the dragon had gone, then at the other two males in the trees. "And yet we've never seen you before. How is that?" 

"Ever the journalist, aren't you?" Lashana murmured, drawing his sharp blue gaze. "It's not all that simple." 

"Try us." 

Glancing over at Joyrock, she sighed and lightly trailed her fingers over Kalamadea's back, hearing his soft reassuring croon as she shot a look of askance at Telca, who shrugged. _Oh well, in for a penny...._ "Alright, fine. Y'see, Telca and I are from a crossroads. It's a dimension where all worlds mix into one. Add to that the fact that we tend to go dimension hopping on a regular basis, we've picked up a lot about various people in each world. With me so far?" While Inuyasha was pretending that he wasn't listening, the two that were looking at her nodded. "Okay. Now, in one of those dimensions - and this is where this gets a tad freaky - you lot, are characters. Your lives are works of fiction. Stories. Lords know what possessed some wacko to make a dimension like _that,_ but it exists." 

Eddie blinked slowly. "Characters? We're.... _characters?_" 

"Hai. You have a whole series of comics, all to yourself. And you're in all three of the Spiderman books.... or was it four? I can't remember...." she shrugged and looked over at Inuyasha. "Even though you're pretending not to listen, you have your own stories too. Very popular ones too. Joyrock, m'afraid you were only in one story. A long one mind you, but in the end Lina Inverse killed you off." 

"And it's a good thing Lashana tends to read and watch stuff with slightly 'off' characters too, else we'd never have been able to pick you out from that list," Telca muttered. "You're the best of the flock.... which basically means that the flock needs a lot of chlorine in the gene pool." 

"Hey! We resent that!" 

Joyrock smirked. "Speak for yourself human." 

"We are." Eddie shot an annoyed look at the Mazoku. 

"Ne, it's cuz he's bonded to his symbiote. There's two minds, one body. That's why he talks in plural," Lashana explained before Joyrock opened his mouth again and got himself into trouble. She really didn't feel like breaking up a fight right now. Actually... she was rather tired... 

::Mommy?:: Kalamadea frowned when he didn't get an answer and rose his head to look up at her, rumbling softly when he saw that she had fallen asleep, her head resting against the trunk of the tree as her hair slowly cascaded forward, bangs resting against her closed eyes. Sighing, he carefully crawled up to her shoulders and curled himself around the back of her neck, looping his tail around her throat as he settled himself for the night. 

Telca sighed softly as she looked up at the sleeping woman and buried her fingers in Mischief's fur, drawing on the reassurance of the cat's presence as she turned her gaze from her friend to the fire. _This is going to be a long night..._

~*~ 

The moon was high in the sky when Lashana jerked awake, her heart thundering in her chest as she fought to bite down on a scream. Instinctively, she reached for her Bond with Blackwargreymon, a part of her crying out in agony when all she sensed was an overwhelming sense of 'alone'. _Oh Gods... the nightmares have never been that bad..._ Trembling, she rose her hands and raked her fingers through her hair, fighting to get herself under control, or at least to stop shaking. 

"Elf?" 

She nearly screamed at the touch on her arm, lashing out at what her nightmare filled mind perceived as a threat and gasping when fingers closed around her wrist, stopping the blow and holding her there in a grip of steel. Still trembling, she blinked at Joyrock for a moment before trying to pull away, panic rising in her when he didn't let her go. 

_Well, this is a pleasant surprise. The little Elf's just given me the greatest meal I've ever had._ The Mazoku chuckled a little as he fed on more of her terror, then paused when her sheer panic registered. This wasn't something that he had caused by sneaking up on her, this was something more. Curious now, he released her arm and calmly watched as she immediately leapt up to crouch on a higher branch, fear and panic coming off of her in waves. "Bad dreams, little Elf?" 

"What the hell do you care? Want another meal from me or something?" 

He blinked at the roughness of her voice, the slight echo of Power gaining his attention. Moving slowly, he crept backwards into a spatial shift, emerging in front of her moments later. Ignoring her glare, he peered at her closely, eyes widening a little in surprise when he saw five black runes of Chaos along the backs of both her arms. _Those weren't there before...._ Sighing, he turned and sat on the branch, one leg dangling over the long drop to the ground while he rested his right ankle on his left knee, sinking his cheek into the palm on his left hand afterwards as he stared down at the sleeping forms of Telca and Eddie, and the large form of Skie. "I don't care. And I'm quite full now. What I do want to know is if these nightmares of yours going to get us killed." 

Lashana growled softly and rose to her feet, leaning back against the tree as she felt a still sleeping Kalamadea curl a bit tighter around her. It had been good planning on her part to completely block everything but her presence from the little dragon, she didn't want him sharing her dreams. "Why would they?" 

He chuckled softly. "Because they'll always get worse. They always do, don't they?" 

"How the hell do you know that?" 

"Ah, suddenly interested in talking to me now, are you? Sorry little girl, I don't give answers that easily." His gaze found hers, and he smirked at her in amusement. "Not without something in return." 

"Yeah, right. As if I'm going to give _you_ anything. I know your kind, Joyrock. You Mazoku are all the same." 

That caught his attention. "Oh? You think you know my kind do you? Well aren't you presumptuous. And who exactly have you met that makes you think you understand us?" 

"Xellos Metallium." 

"Nani?!" He stared at her in shock, not even bothering to try to hide his surprise. "The Beastmaster's General Priest?! How the hell do you know _him?_" 

She grimaced. "He lives with us. He just moved in one day and now we can't get rid of the little pervert." 

_She's calling the Beastmaster's servant a 'little pervert'?! Doesn't she know how powerful he is?! He's the only Mazoku to have power equal to one of the Higher Mazoku Lords!_ "Y-you're lying." 

"You're the one who can sense emotions, you idiot. You know I'm not lying." 

"Then I'm to believe that you have one of the most powerful Mazoku living with you? That someone that important would choose to..." He trailed off at the look she was giving him, knowing that if he finished that sentence she was going to 'stay' him. "Why would he? He's never shown interest in mortals before, not unless he was going to kill them." 

"He wouldn't dare try," she growled lowly. "And as for why? Hell, if we knew that, we'd be able to get rid of him." 

_Xellos Metallium... living with these.... these.... mortals.... And they treat him as if he's one of them. As if he isn't capable of destroying them with a single thought. _Joyrock frowned and looked away from her. Even among Mazoku, Xellos was a force to be feared. "It's impossible." 

Now highly annoyed, Lashana folded her arms over her chest and snarled. "Fine. It's impossible. When this is over I'll throw you into his room and he can do whatever he wants to you and if you can still function afterwards, then we can have this highly irritating conversation again, okay?" 

Curious as to what she was implying, he glanced at her and frowned. "What makes you think he'd bother with me?" 

She smirked. "He's a sadistic, perverted, masochist. If it walks, he'll try to screw it." 

_That_ made him shudder. "You wouldn't." 

A rather evil grin spread over her lips. "Try me." 

_Oh lovely. I'm stuck with an Elf that can be just as evil as I can. _"I'd rather not, thanks." He suppressed a shiver and turned back to studying the others, still keeping a close 'watch' on her emotions, easily sensing when her thoughts had turned back to her nightmares. "You still want to know how I knew about the dreams?" 

"Not if we have to go through that entire conversation again." 

He chuckled and glanced at her. "I stumbled across a human camp a few decades back. I wasn't even going to bother, but there was the most delicious taste of fear coming from one of them that I just had to investigate. As it turned out, I got too close. He woke up screaming, overrun by terror that I had never thought a human could feel. He saw me there and immediately attacked. I barely managed to shift before he killed me. Even then, it took me weeks to heal the damage he had caused." Noticing that she was now fully paying attention to him, he smirked and turned to look at her. "I found out later that I had disturbed a Chaos Knight and his followers. Since then I've only tasted terror like that once." 

"From me." Lashana frowned and looked away, staring down into the still burning campfire. "So it is the same for every Knight. I wasn't sure. Xellos said it was only because I had been resurrected.... but I wasn't sure...." She shook herself slightly and lowered her arms, sighing as she sagged against the tree. "Why would you think my dreams would get us killed?" 

"The other Knight went mad because of them." 

She closed her eyes at that, inwardly cursing Q for destroying her link to her Bonded. The only one who could manage to help her stay stable after the dreams. "It won't happen to me." 

"Oh? You say that, yet even now, you're still trembling. When you start seeing your nightmares while you're awake, you'll think differently." 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she growled, glaring at him. "Well tough luck. Find someone else to feed off of, Joyrock." 

"Hmpft. This may surprise you, Elf. But I have no desire to see you lose your mind. Not only does it corrupt the emotions into a tasteless mess, but it'll get all of us killed. So it's in my best interests to make sure you stay as you are. Perhaps that is why Q destroyed that link of yours. Because he knew that without your anchor, you wouldn't be able to cope." He smirked, chuckling lightly. "I would have done the same in his place." 

"Lovely. Next time, keep information like that to yourself. It's more than I need to know." She pushed away from the tree as she spoke, fully intending to reach up to climb to another branch, only the slight sound of leaves rustling caught her attention. "Did you hear that?" 

"Eh?" Joyrock looked at her and frowned as he listened. "There's nothing there." 

"No, wait." She closed her eyes and concentrated, her Elven hearing picking up Telca's sleepy murmurings, Inuyasha's light snores, Skie's heartbeat.... and the creak of a branch above her. "There!" 

The leaves exploded outwards as she pointed towards them, and she loosed a short shriek of surprise as something slammed into her, knocking her off the branch while she grappled with it. The world lurched around her as taloned fingers closed around her left ankle, and she twisted in Joyrock's grip as she savagely drove her right fist at her attacker, knocking it off of her and letting it fall to the ground. Still hanging upside-down, she had a good view of what had attacked her as it twisted in mid-air to land on it's feet. It looked like a tiny zombie, it's eyeless sockets seemingly glowing with dark hatred as it glared up at her, then loosed a cry and vanished into the bushes. 

"What the hell was that?!" Joyrock hissed from above her as he stared at the place where the thing had darted into the bush. 

"I don't know. Help me up." She rose the arm that a now wide-awake Kalamadea wasn't drawing blood from and grabbed his outstretched right hand, feeling him release her ankle the moment he had a good grip on her wrist. 

::Don't ever do that again! I do not like waking up to the realization that I'm about to slam into the ground!:: Kalamadea roared as Joyrock effortlessly pulled the Elf back up onto the branch, broadcasting it to both of them. 

"It wasn't all that fun for me either, y'know." Lashana grumbled as she eyed the blood that was slowly trickling down her arm. "Are you trying to amputate me at the shoulder or something?" 

::Hmm? Ack! Sorry! Sorry!:: 

She winced as he pulled his talons out of her flesh and looked back at the sleepers on the ground for a moment before glancing at Joyrock. "Thanks." 

He grunted in reply. "Don't get any ideas, little Elf. I'm just very aware of that 'if one dies, all of you die' warning that Q gave us." 

::Mmhm, sure you are.:: Kalamadea smirked, grinning when the Mazoku glared at him. 

"Anyway, maybe we should..." 

Joyrock frowned when she trailed off and looked at her. "What?" 

She made a gesture for him to stay quiet and crept out farther along the branch, crouching down to stare at a group of the tiny creatures that were creeping towards the sleepers. _How many spells did we use up today? Four? Five? Aw, who cares._ Feeling Joyrock's gaze on her, she carefully backflipped off the branch and soundlessly landed behind the small group, grinning as she rose her hands. "_You who crosses between the sky and earth, gently flowing water, gather in my hand and give me power! Demona Crystal!!_" 

The Mazoku chuckled softly as he watched the spell entomb the creatures in thick ice and clapped, catching the smirk the Elf threw him as he did so. 

::What are they?:: Kalamadea frowned as he hopped off her shoulder and landed on the ice encased creatures, talons digging into the block to keep himself from sliding off as he peered at them through the opaque casing. ::They're ugly.:: 

"Yes well, they're pretty much the walking dead, Kalamadea. They're not here to win beauty pageants." Lashana reminded him as she walked past and plucked him off the ice, holding him in the crook of her left arm as she walked towards the fire. 

A high pitched shriek warned her too late, and she barely had time to twist to shield Kalamadea before another one of the things landed on her back, screaming loudly in her ear. Snarling, she reached back and grabbed it's leg, ripping it off of her and violently throwing it to the ground before slamming her boot through it's rotted skull. "_Telca!_" 

"Nuuugh?" The loud scream pulled Telca out of a very comforting dream about Remy, and she had the full intention of fireballing Lashana as she sleepily rose her head from her arms and opened her eyes.... 

....just to look right into the decomposing face of a pygmy zombie. "ACK!!" She grabbed Mischief and threw herself backwards, gasping when Lashana spun to savagely kick the thing in the ribs, sending it flying into a tree. "What's going on?!" 

"We're being attacked! That's what's going on!" The Elf yelled as she shoved Kalamadea at a half-awake Skie and turned to draw her sword, facing the dozen or so creatures. "Eddie! Wake the hell up, man!" 

"Huh?" Much like Telca had, he rose his head and cried out in shock at the sight of the creatures bearing down on him. Almost immediately, the symbiote flowed over him, shedding it's casual clothes disguise and reverting to it's more natural black and white colouring, boosting Eddie's strength and reflexes ten fold as it did so. "What are those things?!" 

"Oh, like I know?!" Lashana ducked a thrown spear and hacked at the closest pygmy, cutting it in half and maiming a second with a backhand slash. One of them swung down from a tree and made to leap on her from behind, and she was only halfway turned around to meet it when a ball of reddish energy slammed into it, knocking it to the ground and exploding. Surprised, she glanced in the direction the attack had come from and blinked at a chuckling Joyrock for a moment before the sound of Telca's voice grabbed her attention. _What's she... oh no...._ "Everybody down!" 

_WHAM!_

"_Elf!!_" 

Lashana winced at the yell as she dropped to the ground and covered her head with her arms. "Sorry, Skie!" 

"...._give me your freezing wrath! DYNAST BREATH!_" 

"Eh? What's going on?!" Inuyasha twitched an ear and looked up right into the path of the ice spell. "Shimatta...." 

Once the roar of the spell died down, Lashana rose her head from her arms and looked at Telca as she got to her feet again, brushing ice shards off her clothes. "Nice aim. Would you like to go defrost Inuyasha now?" 

"What? Hey don't bitch at me! I got rid of the.... whatever they were. Right?" The Avatar of Gaia gestured to the ice sculptures that used to be the pygmies and glared at Lashana in annoyance. 

"Um... I think so." Lashana turned and took a quick look around camp, frowning when she didn't see any others, but the forest around them was too quiet for her tastes. 

::There's more coming!:: Kalamadea told them as he returned to his safe perch on Lashana's shoulder. ::I can hear them!:: 

"Well crap." Telca growled as she brushed dirt off her shirt then lifted a frazzled Mischief up so that the cat could perch on her shoulders. "No more sleep tonight I guess. Time to run?" 

"Time to run," Lashana nodded, turning to look at Skie as she did so. "Can ya get small again?" 

He snorted, his breath blowing her hair off her shoulders. "You expect me to run from those pitiful things?" 

"Either that or you can wait here. I'm sure a dozen of them are no problem for you, but considering the loudness of all the screaming that's coming our way, I'm guessing that there's at least a hundred of them," she shrugged and turned to go help Telca break Inuyasha free of the ice. "Your choice. Telca! We gotta move! Hurry up!" 

"I'm trying!" 

"Okay, new game plan! Eddie! Go scout ahead, see if you can find that temple or something! Skie, get yer head outta yer arse and change sizes already! Joyrock, stop cackling like a retard and help Telca free Inuyasha!" 

"And what are _you_ going to do?" Venom snarled, obviously not liking being ordered around. 

She grinned evilly and held up a fireball. "I'm gonna go hold them off for a little bit." 

Venom shuddered. 

~*~ 

"I can't believe you blew a fifty foot deep crater just to get rid of ten pygmies!" Venom yelled to Lashana as the group ran through the forest towards a clearing of long grass. 

"It bought us some time didn't it?!" she shot back, glaring up at him from where he was webslinging from tree to tree. Skie grumbled where he was perched on her left shoulder and tightened his claws on her, talons lightly pricking through her shirt sleeve to pinch her skin. She ignored him for the moment in lieu of making sure Telca and Inuyasha were okay. Sure enough, the hanyou was easily keeping pace with them, carrying a grinning Telca on his back while Mischief sat perched on the top of his head. _That's just no fair, how come she gets a ride and I have to run?_

"Ack!" 

Automatically skidding to a stop, Lashana twisted at the yelp and frantically scrambled back to the fallen Joyrock, eyes widening when she saw an army of the pygmies quickly overtaking them. "Shit! Get up!" 

Joyrock glanced in the direction she was staring and growled softly as he forced himself to his feet. "I'm not built for marathons!" 

Seeing the army getting closer, Kalamadea scrambled up onto the top of Lashana's head and hissed at the Mazoku. ::Then do like Skie! Change to a smaller form!:: 

"And do it on the run!" Lashana added as she grabbed the Mazoku's right wrist and bolted, dragging him along behind her as she hurried to catch up to the others. She felt Kalamadea shift his stance on the top of her head and irritatedly batted his tail out of her face as he turned so that he was facing the oncoming pygmies. "Littling, what are you doing?!" 

::Just keep running!:: 

_Oh like I'm actually gonna stop when there's a horde of kindergarteners from hell behind me..._

::Don't get snippy,:: he growled at her as he shakily stood up onto all fours and extended his wings, making sure to aim well above Joyrock as he gathered energy between his wingclaws, the lightning crackling and sparking as it grew in power before he launched it. ::Go!:: 

"Aw, hell... _RAYWING!_" The spell lifted her off the ground, and she grunted a little at the added weight of the Mazoku as she flew forwards, easily outdistancing their pursuers as Kalamadea's attack slammed into them, the explosion decimating them. "Oof! Joyrock! You need to lose weight!" 

"Oh shut up. Ack! Don't drop me!" 

"Then change into that stupid frog form of yours!" 

"Eh?" Joyrock tilted his head back and looked up at her. "How'd you know about that?" 

"Will you just do it before my right arm comes out of it's socket?!" 

"I can't! Not while you're holding onto me!" 

"That can be fixed!" 

Skie chuckled softly as the Elf tossed the Mazoku into the air, delighting in the demon's look of shock and annoyance. "You're a sadistic one, aren't you Elf?" 

"As if you're one to talk," Lashana grumbled as she sped up, watching as Joyrock fell into one of his spatial shifts and re-emerged in his much smaller - and lighter - form. _Oh well, I suppose I should catch him._ Gritting her teeth, she fed more energy into the flight spell, reaching out to catch the Mazoku frog as she narrowly avoided a hailstorm of poisoned darts from the pygmies. "This is not good. Kalama! Where're the others?" 

::Just ahead! About ten meters!:: 

"Right." 

"The zombies are catching up," Skie commented as he twisted his head around to look behind them. "They've got more of those darts." 

::You know, this would be easier if you actually helped out,:: Kalamadea growled to him as he loosed another attack, frowning when all it did was take out two pygmies. 

"Ack!" Joyrock latched onto the Elf's arm when she nearly dropped him and glared at her in annoyance, blinking when he saw how her jaw was clenched. "Elf?" 

She glanced at him and frowned. "Just shut up and hold on." 

"What are you doing?!" Skie yelled as she shot upwards, crashing through the forests canopy. His talons sunk into her shoulder as he held on for dear life, glancing back at the ground that was rapidly receding beneath them. But it was when she banished the flight spell that he truly panicked, roaring in shock as they fell. "Are you insane?! We're going to die!!" 

"_Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time. In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness! Let all the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess!_" Lashana twisted in mid-air and aimed her hands at the ground below them, dimly aware that Joyrock was clinging tightly to her right arm as he stared at the power that was gathering at her fingertips. "_DRAGON SLAVE!!!_" 

The second the spell left her hands, she grabbed Joyrock and held him in front of her, shaking him to get his attention. "Open a shift!" she screamed as they continued to fall, right towards the deadly explosions below them. "Hurry!" 

~*~ 

"Well... looks like Lashana's out having fun without me," Telca grumbled as she stared at the huge mushroom cloud of fire and smoke that rose high above the forest. 

Venom glanced at her warily. "You call that 'fun'?" When she smirked, he hid a shudder and looked back towards the dwindling explosion. "I don't see them. Did they blow themselves up?" 

"We can only wish," Inuyasha growled under his breath. 

"_Sit!_" 

_WHAM!_

"Incoming!!" 

Telca blinked at the scream and looked towards the recently facevaulted Inuyasha, quirking an eyebrow when a spatial shift opened just above him, letting Lashana and co. fall through to land on the twitching hanyou. "Hello." 

"Ugh..." 

"Don't you ever do something that reckless again! You could have killed us!" Skie shrieked as he threw himself away from the dazed woman and grew to a quarter of his natural size, glaring at her venomously. 

::Don't get your tail in a knot,:: Kalamadea muttered as he carefully extracted himself from Lashana's arms and shook himself. ::Elfy?:: 

_Nuuuugh?_ Wincing, Lashana slowly forced herself to her feet, ignoring the glares she was getting from both Skie and Inuyasha as she tried to shake Joyrock off her arm. "Leggo. Baka." 

The Mazoku cracked an eye open and looked around, relaxing when he saw that they were on solid ground. "We're not dead?" 

"No we're not dead," Lashana told him. "But you're going to be hurting if you don't stop glomping my arm." 

"You do remember that whole problem with the limitation of spells, right?" Telca asked, looking at Lashana. "Because so far you've used a hell of a lot of them." 

"Yeah well, you'd rather have fought the decaying kindergarteners from hell hand to hand?" 

"...point." 

"Besides. It's almost sunrise. New day and all, right?" 

"Okay, I'll give you that," Telca nodded, feeling Mischief's claws lightly prick the back of her neck as the cat shifted, a soft inquisitive 'mreow?' leaving her. Curious, she followed the feline's gaze and blinked, staring at the pyramid-like temple that stood nearby. "Well, I'll be damned. We found it." 

Venom frowned and looked over at the temple, his eyes widening beneath the symbiote mask as the waning fires from the spell Lashana had loosed reflected off of a huge diamond at the top of it. "There's something you don't see everyday." 

Smirking, Lashana adjusted her sword belt so it hung snugly around her hips and deposited a still small Joyrock on her left shoulder. "Well c'mon then!" 

Telca grinned and followed the Elf through the thick swathe of tall grasses and bushes. "This test's in the bag. How hard can it be to get a big rock anyway?" 

Inuyasha exchanged glances with Skie and Venom as he peeled himself off the ground. "Feh. Famous last words."   
  
  
  
  
  



	6. So much for not messing up the timeline

**As usual, we (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief (Telca's Cat) and Kalamadea (Lashana's Dragon). Everyone else belongs to whoever created them in the first place (there's too many for me to list). Enjoy the ficcie and R&R please. ^_^**   
  


**Chapter 6 : So much for not messing up the timeline....**   
  
  
  


"Um... did anyone order a psycho woman and a walking dead man?" 

Lashana blinked and frowned at Telca for a moment before peeking through a bunch of bushes and staring at the two people as they headed into the temple. "Waaaait. Q never said anything about us becoming a part of a storyline!" 

"Yeah well, doesn't look like we have much choice," Telca muttered sourly as she turned her gaze to Rick and a recently departed Evie. "We could probably just sneak right past them." 

"Um, do you not remember how extremely homicidal Rick is going to be in a few moments? Besides, we have to make sure we don't change anything. The last thing we need is to accidentally kill off someone important and let Imhotep get control of Anubis' army," Lashana pointed out as she crouched down again and looked at Telca. "Cuz you know that mummy-dude will probably come after us. And since we're not at full power, I really don't want to be anywhere near a huge army of undead warriors." 

"You... have a point." 

"Feh! So they're like yokai. So what? Tessaiga and I can handle them." 

Lashana frowned and looked over at Inuyasha. "Even if you did a hundred Bakuryuuha attacks, you wouldn't kill enough of them to make a difference, Inuyasha." 

He stared at her in surprise. "How'd you know about the Bakuryuuha?" 

"Later," Venom growled as he dropped out of a tree, the symbiote having altered it's colouring to blend in with it's surroundings perfectly. The ultimate camouflage. He crouched beside Lashana and Telca and waited until the symbiote had pulled away from his face before speaking. "This is beyond strange, I hope you realise that. To be taking part in a situation that's identical to a _movie_...." 

"Yeah, well, you'll just have to cope." Telca turned back to looking at the small group and frowned as Rick ran into the temple, leaving the kid and the bumbling moron to watch over Evie's body. _Well, okay. We have to be careful here...._ "Elfy?" 

"Yo." 

"We'll wait until they head in, then follow them. If we do this right, we can get in, make sure the timeline doesn't change, grab the diamond and run." 

"Sounds like a plan." 

"I could just shift us all inside," Joyrock muttered. 

"No. We can't risk being seen and destroying the timeline," Lashana told him as she watched Jonathan scoop Evie's form into his arms and race after Alex as the kid bolted into the temple, yelling something semicoherant about the Book of the Dead. "Okay. Let's go." 

~*~ 

"This place needs an interior decorator, badly." Telca commented to Lashana as they walked deeper into the temple. She raised the torch she was holding a bit higher, hoping to illuminate a bit more of the corridor they were in and sighed when all she managed to accomplish was to leave a scorch mark on the low ceiling. "Does anyone have any idea where we're going?" 

Lashana shrugged. "No clue. Ne, Inuyasha, can you follow their scents?" She glanced back at the hanyou as she spoke, privately amused that Skie had returned to his smaller form once again and perched on the half-demon's shoulder. Apparently she had freaked him out to such an extent earlier that he now completely refused to go near her. She considered that a gift from the Gods. 

"Hard not to," Inuyasha grumbled, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "One of them stinks of death." 

"That would be Imhotep," Venom murmured from ahead, where he was leading the way. 

"The yokai?" 

Telca blinked and glanced back at Inuyasha. "I supposed he can be considered that. He's the walking dead after all. It's somewhat related." 

"Hmpft. Well anyway, he went left. So did the kid." 

Telca frowned a little and darted forward, ignoring Lashana's curious call as she skidded to a stop at the intersection and peered down into the dark tunnel, blinking in shock moments later when numerous torches flared to life all around her, illuminating the corridors of the temple in warm light. "Well, looks like that freak priest just summoned the army." 

"We're gonna have to hurry," Lashana said when she reached her friend. "This place is going to hell in a handbasket." 

"Would you mind explaining this to those of us who have no clue what's going on?" Joyrock growled from her shoulder, tugging on a lock of her hair to get her attention. 

"Pull my hair again and I'll drop kick you into a wall." She waited until he had released the handful of hair he had before continuing. "Where we are now is part of one of those stories we told you about. We have to be very careful not to disrupt the timeline, else the entire world will get destroyed by an army of undead warriors. Comprende?" 

"Uh.... does that mean we can't be seen?" 

"Yes! We went over that already. Why?" Blinking, Telca followed Joyrock's pointing arm to Rick O'Connell, who was standing there staring at them in something akin to catatonic shock. "Oh crap." 

"Um.... hello." Lashana waved at Rick and smiled. "We're just.... um...." She glanced over at Telca for support. "....passing through?" 

::Oh yeah, very convincing,:: Kalamadea muttered dryly as he shifted and lazily cleaned the talons of his right foreclaw. 

Rick stared at them for a moment longer before coherency reared it's ugly head. "Who.... what are you?!" 

"We're... here to help you." Telca said, ignoring the looks of 'what the hell are you doing' that Lashana and Venom were giving her. "We.... uh.... heard about what was going on and... um... we just don't want to be overrun by an army of undead people is all." 

Lashana groaned and rose a hand to her forehead in an exasperated smack. _We're all gonna die...._ "Can we just go already?" Annoyed that their plans had gone straight down the tubes, she stalked past Telca and a still startled Rick and headed down the corridor, her left hand resting on the hilt of her sword as she walked. "So much for not destroying the timeline." 

"This... should be bothering me," Rick muttered as he followed the white-haired woman, the rest of her little group close behind him. 

"Yeah well, normally people wouldn't be stalking off to make battle with a mummy, now would they?" Eddie pointed out. 

Rick paused and frowned at the other male, meeting his clear blue gaze suspiciously. "How'd you know that?" 

Skie rolled his eyes and rose a claw to his forehead. "Idiot...." 

"You know, it'll be a miracle if we don't all get ourselves killed," Joyrock groused as Lashana slowed and crept towards a archway. He fell silent when Kalamadea whacked him with his tail and frowned when the Elf silently stepped into a large chamber. "This place.... is filled with death." 

Kalamadea hissed softly and looked around them, his gaze falling on the seal that was on the floor in front of them. ::That's Anubis' mark.:: 

_Hai,_ Lashana thought to him as she looked from an alter dedicated to the God of Death to the passageway ahead. _And further in is the Scorpion King. Sounds like Imhotep's already there too._ She waited until the others had joined them before signalling to Telca to avoid touching the seal on the floor, seeing her friend's nod of agreement before they both leapt clear over it. "Rick, c'mon. It's your time to shine." 

He frowned as he walked past them. "When this is over, you two are going to explain this to me." 

"Oh sure, sure," Telca smiled. "No prob." 

"There's yokai here," Inuyasha growled to Lashana as he walked by her side, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword, talons lightly scraping against it. "Powerful one too." 

"I know. But we can't kill it. It's important that Rick be the one to finish it off," she whispered to him. "But that doesn't mean we can't beat the crud out of it for him." 

"Heh. Finally, one of you says something intelligent." 

"I am so going to hurt you for that when we're out of here." 

"Elfy!" 

She looked ahead at the hiss and quickly jogged over to Telca, joining her in watching Rick stalk towards the large doors and Imhotep, who had yet to realise that the human was there. "Are we jumping in or not?" 

"Dunno yet. You want to let someone handle Anck-Su-Namun when she shows up?" 

"Nah. Let Evie have her moment. Besides, she can handle the psycho bitch." 

"Point. Oh look, Imhotep just got a clue." Telca pointed out at the two on the 'stage' as Imhotep attacked Rick, knocking him backwards with well-aimed hits. "You'd think Rick would just throw him into that pit-- Hey! Where are you going?!" 

"To make sure things don't get fubared!" Lashana called back as she ran out into the huge chamber, hopping over a chasm as she did so. _Kalamadea, go back and stay with Telca._

::No way! I'm not leaving you to have all the adventure!:: 

_Littling, I'm about to get into a fight with a huge half-human half-scorpion monster._

::So?:: 

She rolled her eyes, then yelped when someone whacked her upside the head. Growling, she spun and rounded on Telca. "What was that for?!" 

"For thinking that you're gonna have all the glory without me!" 

"Glory?! What glory?! I'm gonna help kill a huge bu--" A loud roar cut her off, and she turned to follow the stares of Rick and Imhotep, feeling a cold weight settle in the pit of her stomach as she watched the two huge doors slowly swing open, a large shadowed form moving within the newly opened room before stepping out into the torch-light. "Oh. Dear. Gods." 

"Ugh, he's uglier in person," Telca muttered as she gazed at the Scorpion King, fighting the urge to try to open a portal to get some raid or a mallet. 

"What is that?!" Venom yelped from behind the two sorceresses, dimly aware that Inuyasha had drawn his sword and was growling softly. 

Joyrock smirked as he stared up at the thing, feeding off the fear that Rick and Imhotep were radiating as the two broke apart from their struggle and faced the creature separately. Chuckling softly, he hopped off of the Elf's shoulder and dropped into a spatial shift, re-emerging in his more natural form a little ways away from the two women. "Well, at least I'll get some entertainment with my meal." 

"You are so disgusting," Telca muttered as she drew her gun and took aim, firing one shot right at the Scorpion King's chest. 

Lashana's eyes widened when the creature grunted and looked over at them. "Telca? I think you just pissed it off." 

"Hmm. That's not good." 

"Run!" Moving on instinct, Lashana grabbed Telca's arm and threw them aside, barely avoiding the scorpion's tail that slammed into the space they had been standing in moments before. _This is not good._ Ignoring the loud annoyed yowels from Mischief, she rolled to her feet and ran forward, ducking under a claw swipe and closing her fingers around a torch. "Yo! Ugly! Over here you big moron!" 

::Please don't insult the big psychotic bug,:: Kalamadea growled as he looked up into the face of the Scorpion King and readied a few attacks of his own. ::Ready?:: 

"Yeah. Telca?" 

"Go!" 

Long months of living together in a place that attracted trouble like nobody's business had forced the two sorceresses to plan and rehearse numerous attacks. That had been how they had come to the realisation that attacking together, as one, usually got the best results. Hence the fact that as Lashana threw the flaming torch right into the King's face and Kalamadea loosed a lightning ball into his chest, Telca ran forward and grabbed a weapon off the floor, tossing it over to Rick as she rushed through an incantation and pointed at the bug. "_Fireball!_" 

"Aw hell," Lashana moaned when the creature didn't so much as twitch when the fireball slammed into it's chest. "It's immune to spells." 

"Options?" 

"Running away sounds good." 

Telca nodded. "I concur." 

"Hey! You can't just leave me like this!" Rick yelled as the two women bolted. 

"Don't worry! You're the chosen one!" Lashana called back with a reassuring grin. 

Telca smirked. "Yeah, Rick! Use the force!" 

"The _what?_" 

"Ack!" Lashana scrambled to a stop when the Scorpion King suddenly reared in front of her and leapt to the side, barely avoiding the first claw swipe, but not the second. The force of the blow knocked the air from her, and she grimaced in pain as she slammed into a stone pillar and slid to the floor. _Ow...._

::Get up!:: Kalamadea shrieked into her thoughts as the bug turned towards them. He saw Rick jab at the thing with the blade of an axe and turned his attention back to the Elf when the King went after the human. ::Lashana? Lashana!:: 

Telca frowned as she watched Imhotep trick the King into thinking that he was his servant, growling slightly under her breath when the treacherous mummy sicced the bug on Rick in the process. _Well, at least things are still playing out..._ Ignoring Inuyasha and Venom as they ran to help the human, she went over to Lashana and grabbed her left shoulder, shaking her lightly. "Elfy. C'mon, we gotta go." 

"Wha? ...nugh... what hit me?" 

"The big giant creepy crawlie," Telca said as she hauled the Elf to her feet and supported her. "You cracked the pillar you know." 

"That would explain the large headache I have...." Wincing, Lashana reached out to lean on said pillar and fought to get her balance back, yelping when a tail slammed into the backs of her legs, knocking both her and Telca to the floor. "Ow, again." 

"_Sakontessou!_" Inuyasha landed next to the fallen women as his attack knocked the bug backwards and glanced back at them. "Are you two finished being useless now?" 

"_SIT!_" 

_WHAM!_

"Bitch!" 

"Can you not do that when we're in a fight?!" Venom yelled as he frantically worked at webbing up the Scorpion's legs, ducking to avoid a jab to the head from it's tail and moving aside as Rick hacked off a limb with the axe. 

"We'll think about it!" Telca replied as she got to her feet and hopped over a still twitching Inuyasha, running for the small blue dragon that was perched on Joyrock's shoulder and watching the fight in amusement. "Wipe that smirk off your face and get in there and help us!" 

"What are you... Hey! Put me down!" Skie twisted to try to bite Telca's hand as she grabbed him by his tail, then roared in protest when she literally flung him into the heart of the battle, leaving him to slam into the Scorpion King's ribs and fall to the ground, dazed. 

Joyrock glanced at Telca warily, noticed the look in her eyes and swallowed thickly. "I'm going. I'm going!" Thus said, he tore open a spatial shift and went in, emerging across the room just long enough to grab the Elf and haul her in with him, saving her from another hit. "Your friend is more evil than you." 

"I'll be sure to tell her that," Lashana grumbled as she rubbed at her left shoulder, knowing that she was going to be needing painkillers after this. "Kalama?" 

::I'm here. I'm alright.:: The dragon nuzzled her cheek lightly. ::What's the plan?:: 

"I'm supposed to have a plan?" 

"It'd help," Joyrock muttered as he opened another tear and stepped out, pulling her through with him. Sighing, he looked at the fight and rose his right hand, palm glowing white before he shot a beam at the King, the thin white light tearing through the creature's shoulder and cutting downwards, almost succeeding in cutting him in half before Lashana yanked him out of the way of a piece of the crumbling ceiling. "Nani? What's happening to this place?" 

"Don't ask. You don't want to know." 

"Rick!" 

Telca turned at the new voice and blinked at Evie. "Well, looks like despite all this, things are going the way they're supposed to." 

"Good!" Lashana yelled, shoving Joyrock out of the way of the flung Inuyasha and snarling at the Scorpion King. Numerous frantic screams caught her attention, and she frowned as she looked over at Jonathan, who had finally figured out how to extend the spear of Osiris. _Idiot's gonna get us killed...._ "Telca!" 

"Eh?" The burgundy haired sorceress turned at the cry and followed the Elf's pointing hand to Imhotep, who was preparing to get in the way again and be a pain. "Gotcha!" Grinning, she quickly set Mischief on the ground to avoid accidentally hurting her, then did a perfect flying tackle, knocking Imhotep to the floor and landing on his back. "Hello baldy." 

Highly annoyed, Imhotep twisted to glare at her and stared up into the most demented grin he had ever seen before a cat landed on his face and proceeded to try to rip it to shreds. 

"Oh no no no, Mischief," Telca murmured as she grabbed the cat and soothingly petted her head, smoothing her bristled fur. "Don't do that, you'll ruin your nice fur. Here, let me." She rose her right hand and curled her fingers into claws, overlong nails catching the light from various torches as she looked down at Imhotep just to discover that he had fainted. "Hmpft. Funsucker." 

Sighing, she rose to her feet again and paused to brush sand off of herself and Mischief before looking towards the other fight, watching as Rick managed to stab the Scorpion King in the chest with the spear. _And cue the line...._

"Go to hell! And take your friends with you!" 

_I love that line._ "Yo, Elfy! C'mon! Time to go!" 

"Hai!" Lashana grabbed Venom and shoved him towards a waiting Telca. "Go! There's not much time before--" An ominous rumble cut her off, and she groaned as she looked up at the crumbling ceiling. _Crud._ "Run for it!" 

"You don't have to tell us twice!" Venom said as he bolted for the archway, easily dodging various portions of the ceiling and walls that crumbled around him. 

Rolling her eyes, Lashana turned her attention back to the problem at hand and rose an arm to shield Kalamadea from any debris as she dart forward and snatched a dazed Skie out of the way of a falling rock spire. Tucking the small dragon under her left arm, she spun and ran for the archway and the much more stable ceiling beyond, desperately wanting to get away from this chamber before something bashed her head in. 

Ahead of her, she saw Inuyasha knock Anck-Su-Namun unconscious with the hilt of his sword, and she inwardly smirked in glee as she watched the woman fall to the floor, out cold. _If someone hadn't done that, I would have._

"Let go, damn you!!" 

Telca glanced back into the chamber at the scream and sighed when she saw Joyrock being dragged backwards into a chasm by numerous tortured souls, despite his numerous and usually quite deadly efforts to get free. _Damned frog demon's more trouble than he's worth. And... ack! _"Lashana! What the hell are you doing?!" 

"What the frak does it look like?!" The Chaos Knight shrieked as she dodged a falling stalactite and ran back to grab Joyrock's arm, her boots leaving tracks on the floor as she was dragged forward along with him. Gritting her teeth, she dug her heels into the layer of sand and pulled, putting all her weight and Elven strength behind the strong yank and yelping when the souls released Joyrock, sending them staggering backwards before they caught their balance again. 

"Nani?" The Mazoku looked at her in obvious shock. "Why did you--?" 

"Cut the crap and get us out of here before we get killed!" she screamed as she danced aside to avoid another stalactite, wincing when a shard of stone debris sliced into her left cheek. Purple light surrounded her then, and she sighed in relief as she and Joyrock stepped out of the shift he had opened and emerged next to a glaring Telca. _Out of the frying pan and into the fire._

"Baka!" Telca snarled, fwaping Lashana upside the head. "You could have been killed!" 

"Um, I really don't think you guys should be fighting right now," Rick yelled as he and his family ran past them, pointing to the large cracks that were spreading over the walls. "This place is gonna collapse!" 

Inuyasha frowned at the buckling ceiling for a moment before growling and grabbing the two women's wrists. "Let's go!" he yelled, dragging them after him as he led the way through one corridor, then another, heading for the way they had come in. 

"Whoa!" Rick shoved Evie out of the way of a flying tree and glanced over at the forest that seemed to be being sucked into the temple. "The entire forest is being pulled in!" 

"Thank you for that observation, Einstein!" Telca frowned as she pulled free of Inuyasha and headed for the only exit that didn't seem to be pulling large amounts of the surrounding countryside into it. "Lashana! C'mon! We gotta get that rock so we can get out of here!" 

_Oh as if I didn't know that..._ The Elf growled softly and waited until all the others had followed Telca out of the temple before heading after them, ducking once to avoid a flying pygmy. She felt both Skie and Kalamadea tighten their holds on her, their tails twining dangerously tight around her neck as she fought the rising winds and scrambled outside, staring at the scene of an entire oasis being pulled into a temple. _Well, this is new._ A yell from above her drew her attention, and she quickly started climbing up the side of the temple to rejoin Telca and the others, inwardly sighing in relief when she saw Venom holding the large diamond. 

"Where to next?" Telca yelled, trying to be heard over the roar of the winds. 

"Why are you asking me?" 

"Because you have the fuckin' Palm Pilot!" 

"Oh, right. Sorry. My bad." She pulled the small hand-held computer out of her back pocket and touched the screen, quickly opening the newly decrypted file, completely ignoring the baffled looks the O'Connells were giving them as Izzy and his flying balloon ship soared into view. "Um.... San Angeles." 

"What?! What the hell is that?!" 

"That's what it says, dammit! Joyrock, does this make sense to you?" Lashana pointed to what seemed to be a quadrant location written out in Mazoku, eyeing the approaching whirlwind of debris as the temple started to implode on itself. 

Joyrock smirked and grabbed the Elf's arm. "Let's go." 

"You do know where you're going, right?" Telca frowned, growling when he merely shrugged and opened a spatial tear. "If we end up in the Teletubbies dimension, I'll kill you." 

"They took my diamond!" Jonathan whimpered after the strangers had vanished into a strangle purple light, wincing when Rick whacked him upside the head. 

"Um... who were those people?" Evie frowned, looking at Rick curiously from where she was kneeling to hug Alex. 

He shrugged. "Damned if I know. Anyone know what a Palm Pilot is?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. If this is civilization in the future, w...

_Lashana and Telca own only themselves, Mischief and Kalamadea. Everyone else belongs to someone else._

_In case anyone's interested, this chapter is based in the dimension of the 'Demolition Man' movie. *shrugs* What can I say, Telca an I think the movie's funny._   
  
  
  


**Chapter 7 : If this is civilization in the future, we were better off with the pygmies**   
  
  
  
  
  


"Well, this is certainly better than the desert," Telca smiled as she looked around at the tall buildings around them, glad to once again be in civilization. "Let's hijack a truck and go shopping or something. I really need some fresh clothes and a shower." 

"W-what is this place?" Skie hissed, eyes wide as he looked at their surroundings, his claws tightening on the Elf's shoulders. 

Lashana frowned and glanced at him, surprised at the waver in his voice. "It's a city. It's what the cities look like in our dimension," she told him gently. "I'd imagine that in a few millennia, Krynn may have something akin to this. Maybe." 

::Oh I hope we can get something to eat,:: Kalamadea muttered as he spread his wings a little. ::I'm starving!:: 

"Don't look at me," Skie grumbled. "I didn't find anything on my hunt last night. Though eating one of you did occur to me." 

"Lovely." Telca turned away from the group and peeked around the corner of a building, her eyes widening as she stared at the cars that drove by. "Sweet flamin'... Lashana! Come see!" 

"Eh?" The Elf walked over to her and followed her gaze, paling slightly. "Oh Lords... this... this isn't any dimension we've been to before!" Panicked, she studied the Palm Pilot again and frowned. "Says here it's the year twenty-thirty-two. The new city of San Angeles is made up of what used to be Los Angeles and a few surrounding cities. It's a non-violent community..." 

"Non violent?" Joyrock frowned and looked at her. "Where's the fun in that?" 

"We're out of a job now!" Eddie groused as the symbiote quickly shifted from it's battle look to a more conservative outfit of boots, black jeans and a white dress shirt. 

"You also happen to be the most psychotic people around here too," Telca pointed out gleefully. "So now you're the criminals. Does that mean you have to beat yourself up, Eddie?" 

"Telca, stop tormenting him," Lashana murmured as she looked through the sparse information that Q had given them. _Hmm, says here we have to find...three seashells? The hell?_ She blinked and glanced in the other's direction, frowning. "Eddie? Where's the diamond?" 

"We assume that Q took it," he shrugged. "It vanished as soon as we arrived here." 

"Well, at least we don't have to lug the stuff around," Telca sighed, returning her attention to the other guys who were watching the nearby traffic. Their little group seemed to be in what could pass as a small park. And while she did think this world was a little nuts, she had to give it brownie points for trying to conserve green space. "So, Elfy, what are we looking for?" 

"Three seashells." 

"You have got to be joking." 

"No. Look." She handed the Palm Pilot to Telca, then reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Oh Lords, I need a cup of coffee..." 

::And a band-aid, that cut's deep,:: Kalamadea murmured to her as he tore a piece of her sleeve off and held it against the bleeding cut on her cheek, crooning worriedly when she winced in pain. ::Sorry.:: 

"S'okay." Sighing, she looked over at Telca. "Can we crash for a while first? I'm running ragged here, and a bit of sleep on an actual bed and a shower would really do me a ton of good." 

"Yeah. Me too," Telca agreed, relocating Mischief to the crook of her left arm before rubbing at the tense muscles in the back of her neck. "Okay, plan. Find a hotel, sleep, wash, eat something, get caffeine into the Elf before she goes insane..." 

"I thought she already was insane," Inuyasha frowned, looking at Telca curiously. 

"She is but you're a pain so sit..." 

_WHAM!_

"Then after we do all that, we can hunt for those stupid seashells and get out of here," Telca finished without even missing a beat, sparing a glance at the twitching Inuyasha for a moment before grinning at Lashana. "Sound good?" 

"Very." 

"Um...question?" Joyrock met the gazes of the two females as they turned to look at him, then jerked a thumb in the direction of the street. "Ignoring the fact that I have no idea what those are... how exactly are you going to explain me? There aren't any other Mazoku here. And what's worse, there's nothing to feed on either! No anger, no fear.... nothing!" 

Telca sighed. "Just go back to your carryable form and leave the rest to us. At least Eddie and Inuyasha can pass as humans, the only things we have to worry about now is the two dragons." 

"We could follow from the air," Skie rumbled, sharing a glance with Kalamadea. "I'd certainly be able to get a better view of this 'city'." 

"No. Bad idea that. You don't know your way around, and we can't risk getting separated in a place like this, there's no telling what these people are like." 

Rolling her eyes, Telca held her cat a bit tighter and strolled out into the open. "Lashana. They're _non-violent_. How much trouble could they be?" 

~*~ 

"This so cannot be a hotel," Lashana breathed as Telca led them into a huge building. The lobby itself looked so immaculate, so expensive, that she doubted they could even afford to breathe the air without going broke. "Telca! We can't afford this!" 

"Sure we can!" 

Eddie frowned and glanced at the burgundy haired sorceress. "You actually have money with you?" 

"Er... maybe...." 

"Then how are we supposed to get any food?!" Inuyasha snarled, annoyed that he was forced to lie his ears flat against his skull for his entire stay in this dimension. Truthfully, it was giving him a headache and making him cranky. 

"I'm pretty sure I could just steal money out of someone's purse," Joyrock whispered to Lashana from where he was hiding in her hair. 

::Ack! Lashana! Someone's coming our way!:: Kalamadea yelped into her thoughts, hearing Skie's agreeing hiss of warning moment's later. 

"Eh?" Blinking, the Elf turned towards what was probably the hotel manager and quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the robes he was wearing. _Oy, fashion's gone straight down the crapper I see._

The man stopped a good two meters away from them and glanced from the two white-haired people to the tall woman that seemed to be in charge. "Mellow greetings. What seems to be your boggle?" 

"Our 'boggle'? Um..." Telca glanced at Lashana, who shrugged. "We...need a room?" 

"A domicile? Ah, certainly. This way." 

Inuyasha stifled a growl as he followed the group over to a counter, his hand tightening on Tessaiga's hilt as he darted his gaze around them. This place smelled weird. "Elf?" 

"Yo." She glanced at him curiously and met his bright amber yellow gaze. 

"This place... it smells... fake." 

"Yeah well, this isn't some hut in feudal age," she shrugged, glancing over at Telca when her friend pulled three twenties out of her jeans pocket. "Been saving?" 

"Hai. Wolvie didn't need his wallet anyway, right?" 

Snickering, Lashana nodded in agreement, then looked at the manager, frowning when she saw the look of sheer bafflement on his faces. "What?" 

"This..." he reached out and gingerly took one of the twenties, holding it up and examining it. "What is it?" 

"Uh, duh. It's money," Telca drawled, resting an elbow on the counter. "Y'know. Moulah? Dough? Bucks?" 

Sighing, Eddie turned away from the counter and looked around, feeling his symbiote send a wave of unease into his thoughts when he noticed that they were drawing a fairly large amount of attention. Everyone in the hotel seemed to be staring at them. _This can't be good._

"Aw, c'mon, man!" Telca said in exasperation, glaring at the manager in annoyance. "We're tired, sore, hungry, and we need a place to crash for a while! Is this a hotel or isn't it?!" 

"It is but..." 

"Then give us a fucking room!!" 

_*beep*_ "You are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality stature." 

Joyrock frowned and peered out of the Elf's hair as he studied the strange silver device that was imbedded into the wall. He could have sword it had just talked. "What the?" 

"The 'verbal morality stature'?" Eddie repeated, looking at a similarly confused Lashana. 

"I have no clue," she muttered. 

The manager frowned at Telca. "Enhance your calm. You know that foul language such as that is illegal and highly rude. Don't force me to call the police." 

"Wait, wait." Eddie smothered a chuckle and moved to stand next to a blinking Telca. "You're going to call the cops on us, because she swore? And it's illegal?" 

"Oh Lords," Lashana sighed, reaching up to massage her suddenly throbbing temple. "I'd kill for a cup of coffee right now." 

Skie hissed softly as the manager paled and ran from them, then looked at the Elf. "I believe that you should have phrased that differently." 

"You have got to be shittin' me!" Telca cried, snarling when the computer ejected another ticket and informed her that she was once again in violation of some retarded code. "What is the matter with you people?! Are you all brain-dead?!" 

"Um... I think we should go," Inuyasha muttered, eyeing the three strange carriages that pulled up to the front of the building. 

"Well, this is new." Lashana looked at the five cops that hesitantly approached them and sighed. She'd be able to scare one of them into fainting just by saying 'boo'. _This is pitiful. Simply pitiful. _"What the hell do you want?" 

_*beep*_ "You are fined one credit for violation of--" 

"Oh shut up!!" 

One of the cops pulled out a little hand-held computer and looked at it. "Supply suggestions on how to handle multiple maniacs." 

"In a firm voice, order maniacs to lie down on the ground and place their hands behind their backs." 

The policeman stared at the computer a moment longer, before looking at the group. "L-lie down on the ground, and place your hands behind your backs." 

Lashana gaped. "What the fuck?" 

_*beep*_ "You are fined--" 

::I got it,:: Kalamadea chuckled as he launched a lightning blast at it, frying the computer. 

The cop blinked, then looked back at his computer. "Maniacs have replied with a scornful remark." 

The computer was silent for a moment, then. "Approach and repeat ultimatum in an even firmer tone of voice. Add the words, 'or else'." 

"Screw this," Telca growled as she spotted a window nearby. "C'mon!" 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Eddie called after her as she grabbed a chair and used it to break the window, giving them an escape route out of the building. 

"You'd rather spend more time with the Brady bunch cops?" 

"Point." 

"Well, that was a huge waste of time," Lashana growled as she ran after Telca and Eddie, dimly aware that Inuyasha was right behind her as she vaulted over a parked car and darted around a startled couple. "What now, Telca?" 

"Dunno! At least they're not bright enough to come after us!" 

Lashana almost agreed with her, at least until she turned a corner and nearly slammed into Eddie. Curious, she peeked between him and Telca and stared at six cop cars, then looked at Telca. "You were saying?" 

The other sorceress glared at her, then grabbed the Elf's wrist and bolted back the way they had come, heading down a different street once they reached an intersection. "Oh, just shut the hell up and run." 

_*beep*_ "You are fined one credit for--" 

Telca snarled as she led the way through a small park and shot a scathing look back at the computer kiosk. "Are those things _everywhere?!_" 

"Probably," Eddie muttered, easily keeping pace with them. "This world may be non-violent, but they're certainly not overly intelligent it seems." 

"Oh the good side, you scared those people nearly out of their wits!" Joyrock chuckled, grinning all the while. "It was delicious!" 

"You are immensely disgusting," Skie growled at him, swatting at the Mazoku with his tail. 

Lashana rolled her eyes and pulled free of Telca's grip, shaking feeling back into her right wrist before following Telca into a strangely clean alleyway, gasping for breath as she took the opportunity to sag against the side of a building. "This sucks." 

"No really? I hadn't noticed!" Telca retorted, ignoring the annoyed glare that the Elf sent her as she looked around. "Okay, look, it's not like they're holding bazooka's to our heads, right? Let's just find the seashells and leave." 

"Yeah fine. But what seashells?" Inuyasha grumbled. "It's not like we're next to the ocean, baka!" 

"_Sit!_" 

_WHAM!!_

"There. I feel much better now," Telca smiled, grinning when everyone else except for a twitching, facevaulted Inuyasha backed away from her. 

"Come out, with your... wait a minute, the computer just went blank... ah! There! Come out, with your hands up!" 

::Gee, must be the police,:: Kalamadea snickered as he hopped into Lashana's arms and stared out at the three cars that were blocking the entrance to the alleyway. Rolling his eyes, he looked at the other end of the alley and nearly laughed when he saw that it was completely clear. ::Not too many brains here.:: 

"Do tell," Lashana muttered as she calmly headed for the other end of the alleyway, inwardly praying that they'd find someplace with food sometime in the very near future. _I am so hungry. Gods, I'd even eat..._ "Taco Bell?" 

Telca frowned and looked at the Elf. "What?" 

"Taco Bell! C'mon! Food!" She grabbed Telca's arm and bolted for the restaurant, hitting the doors at a full run and grinning at the clerk. "Dude! Give me a burrito!" 

"What's a burrito?" Joyrock frowned, looking at an equally baffled Skie before turning his gaze to Kalamadea. "Well?" 

::It's food!:: 

"Oh, like _that_ explains everything..." 

Lashana and Telca grinned, completely ignoring the frightened looks on people's faces they impatiently waited for their order, nearly glomping the man who finally brought a large plate out to them... 

"What is this?" Telca frowned and poked at what looked like a single nacho chip with a piece of parsley on it. 

"It's your order, of course." 

Lashana grumbled and looked at the clerk as Mischief reached out a paw from her place in Telca's arms and batted at the parsley. "This isn't food. It's garnish. C'mon, where's the meat?!" 

"Meat? Heaven's no! That's illegal!" 

The two sorceresses blinked. "It's what?" 

"Illegal. Surely you remember. Everything bad for you is illegal. Hence meat, caffeine, contact sports, chocolate, anything spicy..." 

Unfortunately, only one word caught the two women's attentions. "_Chocolate _is illegal?! You people are fucking barbaric!!" 

_*beep* _"You have been fined one credit for violation of the verbal moralities stat--" 

_WHAM!_

Lashana growled and pulled her fist free from the computer. "I hate that machine," she muttered sourly, yelping when Eddie and Inuyasha ran into the restaurant, grabbed both her and Telca and ran back out. "What are you doing?!" 

Telca, being herself, was more straightforward than that, and simply whacked Eddie over the head. "Let go! Now!" 

"If you'd stop hitting me, you'd notice the twenty police cars behind us!" he yelled, shooting a nasty glare at her as Inuyasha leapt over a parked car, forcing him to scramble to keep up. 

"Eh? Oh yeah. Lookit that." 

Lashana groaned and banged her head against Inuyasha's shoulder. "All I wanted was a nice bed to sleep in for a few hours, is that so bad?! Is it!?" 

"Heeeey! That gives me an idea!" Telca grinned at Lashana and winked. "_Sit! Heel!_" 

_WHAM! WHAM!_

Eddie growled as he peeled himself off the ground and glared up at the two sorceresses. "Are you insane?!" 

"Yes. But that's beside the point," Telca smiled, seeing the twenty cop cars stop nearby, the police hesitantly moving to surround them. "We need rest, and they have a nice quiet cell with cots just waiting for us. And it's free!" 

::You're giving up?:: Kalamadea blinked at Telca for a moment, then frowned. ::Who are you and what have you done with Telca?:: 

"It's either that or we have to keep running for lords know how long. At least this way, we get a bit of rest, a bit of food, and when we're all good to go, we can get Joyrock there to shift us out." 

"You know... that actually makes sense," Skie murmured, glancing at Lashana. 

"I know. Scary ain't it?" 

~*~ 

"Ahhh! Alright, I admit it. This was a good idea!" Lashana grinned as she shook Joyrock and Skie off of her, then threw herself down onto a cot, stretching out onto her back and sighing happily. "Oooh, not standing up good." 

Telca smirked and climbed up onto the top bunk, grinning down at Lashana. "Told ya." 

Eddie rolled his eyes and headed for the small side room that they had been told was the bathroom, pausing when he passed the threshold and staring for a good minute before slowly turning and looking at the others. "Um.... I think I found what we're looking for." 

::Huh?:: Knowing that Lashana wasn't going to get up for nothing, Kalamadea spread his wings and flew over to Eddie, landing on his shoulder and peering into the bathroom for a moment before deadpanning. ::You two should see this.:: 

Exchanging curious glances, Lashana and Telca reluctantly got to their feet and shuffled over to the doorway, peering around Eddie and an equally curious Inuyasha to stare at the three perfectly shaped sea shells that were on a small shelf where the toilet paper would normally be. 

"Son of a--" 

Telca cut Lashana off with a low snarl. "This only proves that Q is a sick and twisted fuck, because this test could have been finished in _five fucking minutes!!!_" 

Joyrock grinned at her scream of rage. "Yum." 

"_STAY!_" 

_WHAM!_


End file.
